Star Trek: The Video Game (PS3) Review (or He’s Dead, Jim)

At this point, there is nothing I can say at add to the conversation about Star Trek: The Video Game. The consensus puts this games in with Aliens: Colonial Marines and The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct in a three-way race for the worst game of 2013. It’s a shame because I had high hopes for it considering that it was a Star Trek game developed by a pretty good Canadian developer.

Since nothing I can write will be a revelation when it comes to this game, I thought I’d take an in-depth look at everything good and bad in Star Trek and make it the most detailed review you can find of this game.

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Building the Perfect Star Trek Game

star-trek-picard-facepalmStar Trek: The Video Game by Digital Extremes seems to have launched as an unmitigated disaster. There are numerous bugs and glitches. The co-op AI appears to be somewhere between moronic and suicidal. If you’re playing on PC, online co-op doesn’t work. Basically, if you didn’t know that Paramount delayed release to promote with Star Trek: Into Darkness, you would swear it was rushed to co-promote it.

If the game’s failure wasn’t bad enough, the PR buzzwords Paramount and Digital Extremes threw out didn’t help either. They called it the most authentic Star Trek experience in a video game. While that might be true for the action-packed vision of Star Trek that J.J. Abrams is bringing to the screen, that’s not true of the Star Trek that damn near every Star Trek fan grew up with.

Despite the very shaky track record of licensed games, it is possible to make a great Star Trek game in the rebooted universe while staying true to Star Trek series and movies that we all know and love.

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Wednesday Link-Off: The Long Reads

Let’s not waste any time kicking off the post. Here’s Kate Upton. The photograph was taken by Terry Richardson who is still one of the creepiest looking guys I’ve ever seen.

Last November, NBC’s Bob Costa interviewed Jerry Sandusky after he was charged with child molestation. Now, the prosecution is considering entering the full interview transcript into evidence. That full interview went 36 minutes instead of just the 8 that aired. (The Centre Daily Times)

An unnamed athlete’s PR guy talks about his job of lying to everyone to protect his client’s name. (Deadspin) One of the commenter’s put it right when he said that the PR guy happily taking the money to lie sounds like the man lying to himself.

I’m legitimately excited that Microsoft has a near ultrabook level tablet coming out this fall with the Surface for Windows 8 Pro (which will likely get shortened to “Surface Pro”). Here’s a hands-on look at the upcoming Surface. (Engadget)

After the jump, the odd sports moments of the week, Arsenio is coming back and nobody likes Mr. Worf. Continue reading

E3 2012: Games and News Roundup

The news never stops at E3. All week, developers, publishers and manufacturers are releasing tidbits of information and unveiling new games. We had a roundup of some game news yesterday and we have more news for you to peruse today. We also have some of the latest details about the Wii U that Nintendo neglected to mention in either of their presentations. Continue reading

Wednesday Link-Off: Better Yet, Don’t Call Me

For a post-Memorial Day blog, I’ve ended up with more links than I expected. Usually this is one of the quieter blog weeks of the year. Christmas/New Year’s is the only quieter week. Out of spite, here’s Canadian actress Laura Vandervoort.

In case you didn’t know, the Department of Homeland Security is monitoring what you write on social networking sites. Thanks to a Freedom of Information Act request, we now know which words trigger their filter. (Forbes)

The Republicans are bitching about how awful Obama is but some of his supporters aren’t too happy about the last four years either. (Gawker)

Boxer Johnny Tapia died this weekend. He was probably best known for having a 4-1 record against death having been pronounced clinically dead four times prior to the last time. (Deadspin)

After the jump, Star Trek’s lamest aliens, what went wrong at 38 Studios and a couple of good Call Me Maybe covers (if there is such a thing). Continue reading

Wednesday Link-Off: Twas Three Days Til Christmas

Kicking things off is Doctor Who star Karen Gillan. Insert gratuitous finding her under my tree joke here.

Let’s start our pre-Christmas linkdump with a family story. Here’s a profile of Brian Burke and a look at how he coped with his late son coming out of the closet and later dying in a car crash. (GQ)

And back to the usual fare. Here’s a Christmas message from atheist Ricky Gervais about why he’s an atheist. (Wall Street Journal)

Drew Magary has his list of 10 things would be better off without. Happily, religion is at the top of the list. (Deadspin)

After the jump, the NHL on The Price is Right, the People vs. Superman and a video. Continue reading

Sunday Link-Off: Two Days To #50

That’s right. We’re only a couple of days from the biggest episode in Lowdown history. Editing is going so well that the episode will be into the clip machine at 6:29. In the meantime, to celebrate our big feat (which owes more to a programmer’s insanity and lack of taste in programming if they let us keep coming back), here’s a 3 for the price of 1 with Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel and Alessandra Ambrosio.

Let’s kick off this post with an entertainment link. Top Gear’s website got an exclusive clip from the movie and a behind the scenes look at the introduction of Whiplash. (Top Gear)

Speaking of car things, here’s an example of why, no matter how badly Toyota makes their cars, budget cars are so much cheaper. (Car Review) That Kia that’s some $5,000 less than a Camry probably is more like to kill you.

Wondering which stocks that you should short? Well, here’s a look at 29 products that may get banned in the future. I’d sell stock in these if I had equity investments but I’m not an I-banker so what do I know. (Yes But No But Yes)

After the jump, behind the dollars of blogging, another European hockey fan attack, and some Enterprising knights of the round table. Continue reading

Sunday Link-Off: Stuff You Gotta Watch

The Oscars are tonight which means I have to put in a couple of token movie links. But the good news about the Oscars is that Penelope Cruz is there and nominated for an award.

Tecmo Bowl is back! I need this game in my life. (LA Times) If anyone at Tecmo is reading this, I’d love to review this one against the original Tecmo Bowl… Assuming that I can get my old NES working.

In honour of last night’s Razzies and tonight’s Oscars, it’s a look at the ten worst sports movies of all-time. (Sports Pickle) Hey! I liked #10 as a kid! Especially the soundtrack. The Band’s Stuff You Gotta Watch is on my iPod. Now if I can find it.

And while I’m talking movies here’s a look at 20 of the weirdest ratings rulings handed down by the MPAA. No, I’m not talking about the original X rating for Zack & Miri Make A Porno. (Gunaxin)

After the jump, armed robbers go all in, a couple a wrestling links, and Jesus hates Klingons. Continue reading

Entertainment Link-Off: Recycle and Reuse

amber heardAlright, the Entertainment Link-Off is being posted on a Saturday once again! Here’s an early warning though, it will be delayed next week and I will go on a one week hiatus after that. This edition features Amber Heard. She’s in the horror remake The Stepfather, which is out this weekend. If you’re not interested in that, you can go check her out in Zombieland.

After the jump 500 Days of Summer DVD release date, some Glee stuff, Westlife lied, rapping in Klingon and Zach Braff is not dead. Continue reading

The Humanoids: Back to School

It’s that time of year again. The kids are back off for another 10 months of having their heads crammed with stuff that they’ll quickly forget over the intervening two months before the next school year. That is unless you’re at college or university. Then you’re learning stuff that is generally useful to you. Actually, at least around my neck of the woods, the kids aren’t in school today. Teachers are already burning a day off today because school had to start early because Labour Day was later this year. Universities and colleges don’t need to start the year earlier to get in all the teaching they need. I’m sure elementary school and high school teachers would protest my insinuation that they are wasting their and the kids’ time by starting school early. They’re wrong, though. The whole first week of school is a waste anyway. Why not start the Tuesday after Labour Day and actually get down to business right away? And don’t get me started about the waste that is the month of June. Anyway, the subjects of today’s series of skewerings need to go back to school or have to their associates back to school. It’s an amazingly eclectic lineup that I’ve got today. Something for the whole family here.

This week’s radio show news is good news. Jackie and I are taping the season premiere on Saturday. Our new boss at CHRW wanted to hear the show early. The news will be a little dated but we’ll manage somehow. We’re still waiting to hear back from Activision and Harmonix about getting games to review but no dice so far. I was hoping to make GH5 and The Beatles: Rock Band the centrepieces of a music special but those dreams are disappearing quickly. By the way, have you checked out the new car wall index we put up on the blog? Continue reading