Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

A Houston woman got into a car crash with a bus while driving her three kids. When she got out of her car, it wasn’t to find help. She was getting ice cream from the nearby CVS Pharmacy. If that wasn’t enough to cool her down, she also stripped while eating the ice cream. For her trouble, the woman was charged with child endangerment. I hope she tries to defend herself on the grounds of it being 91+ degrees that day. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

It’s time for all the news that’s not fit for print. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

It may have become popular thanks to a joke on Seinfeld but it turns out that it’s true. A coroner’s inquest in Australia has confirmed that a dingo actually did eat a woman’s baby. An Aussie woman’s 9-week-old daughter went missing some 32 years ago and she was convicted of murder. The conviction was overturned and the woman maintained that a dingo ran off with her baby. Last week, a coroner ruled that the dingo explanation is the cause of the baby’s death. So Robert Downey Jr. was right in Tropic Thunder. It actually happened. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

It’s time for another edition of the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the not news of the week.

If you’re taking secret pictures of women in public, the best way to destroy evidence is definitely not eating it. A Japanese man in his 50s was caught by a store employee taking photos of a 20-something woman. Before the store employee could get to the man, he ate an SD card where the photos were being stored on. Police arrested the man and eventually found the SD card… When he pooped it out. I can’t imagine this was pleasant for anyone involved. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas can be accused of many things but one thing it can’t be accused of is false advertising. Recently, a woman in her 40s suffered a heart attack at the restaurant while eating a Double Bypass Burger, smoking cigarettes and drinking a margarita. Two months earlier, a man had a heart attack while eating a Triple Bypass Burger. Both survived their meals at the Heart Attack Grill but that might be the first time anyone hoped for false advertising. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

It’s time for all the news that’s not fit for print. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

A California man claims that he’s had an erection for the last 20 months and it’s because of his BMW motorcycle. Apparently, it’s nothing untoward on his part. He claims his erection problem started after a four-hour cruise and has had one ever since. (If this man is having a mid-life crisis [a safe assumption considering he’s riding a motorbike], he should consider himself lucky that he isn’t having issues with ED.) BMW is defending itself from the man’s lawsuit by saying that the man is using an after-market seat which means it can’t be BMW’s fault. My question is if Viagra says you should consult a doctor for erections lasting longer than four hours, why was this guy’s first visit to his lawyer instead of his doctor? Continue reading

Not News of the Week

For the first time in over a year, it’s time for another edition of the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the not news of the week.

An Egyptian man watched his first ever porn film while at an internet cafe. He claims he did so out of curiosity. What he hadn’t counted on was that the star of his first porno would be his wife. It turns out that first video he clicked on starred his wife in a film she made with an ex-boyfriend while cheating on her husband. The wife also told her husband that she was the star of a total of 11 amateur porn films. I wonder what’s rougher: Seeing your wife as the star of the first porno you watch, finding out your wife cheated on you to make said porno or that she’s made 11 films while being married to you? Continue reading

Not News: November 2, 2011

A man caught having sex with a donkey told a court in Zimbabwe the animal was actually a prostitute who turned into a donkey. The man was found performing a sex act on a donkey who was lying next to a tree and used the transformation defence when brought to court. He also claimed that he was also a donkey because he was madly in love with the prostitute come donkey. If Zimbabwe is an “innocent until proven guilty” society, the prosecution will have a hell of a time disproving that defence.

Not News: October 31, 2011

Playboy isn’t the only company with a rumoured $1 million offer on the table to Lindsay Lohan. The makers of the Fleshlight, the #1 male sex toy, have offered Lohan $1 million to make a mold of her vagina for use in a Lohan version. There are already Fleshlights modeled on porn stars Jesse Jane and Lisa Ann. Lohan’s reps say she won’t accept the offer but they accepted Playboy’s offer to do a full-frontal spread on the condition that the pictures would be tasteful. In other words, expect a Lohan Fleshlight when her money runs out.

Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

It just can’t be a proper edition of the Not News unless we have a story about sex gone wrong. Well, that depends on your perspective. A couple at the University of Southern California make big news last week when hundreds of people witnessed them having sex on top of the 12-story Waite Phillips Hall on the USC campus. The man was identified as a member of USC’s Kappa Sigma frat while the woman is not believed to be a USC student. Reports say that the two kept at it for a bit and never felt compelled to move away from the edge of the roof. I just hope they were smart enough to use Trojan condoms. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

It’s time for the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

If you were looking for a detour in downtown Houston last week, you might have gotten lost. A prankster changed an electronic “DETOUR” sign to “POOP.” The prankster also got in a crack of “:) LOL” before workers regained control of the sign. Apparently hacking the computer controlling an electronic sign in Texas is punishable with up to a $500 fine. That hasn’t deterred anyone from doing it, though. In 2009, a sign in Austin was changed to read “Zombies in area! Run!” Continue reading