Not News of the Week

It’s time for the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

If you were looking for a detour in downtown Houston last week, you might have gotten lost. A prankster changed an electronic “DETOUR” sign to “POOP.” The prankster also got in a crack of “:) LOL” before workers regained control of the sign. Apparently hacking the computer controlling an electronic sign in Texas is punishable with up to a $500 fine. That hasn’t deterred anyone from doing it, though. In 2009, a sign in Austin was changed to read “Zombies in area! Run!”

I’m pretty sure that Facebook is now a perfectly acceptable reason for a divorce. By which I mean that stupidity on Facebook is an extremely common reason for divorce. When a man got married to a Grand Rapids woman last summer, there was just one problem. That would be his wife in Rhode Island. The two had been estranged for some months but never finalized a divorce. So when he got married in Michigan and announced it on Facebook, wife #1 found out. Now, he’s behind bars for polygamy. See, polygamy isn’t as glamorous as Big Love would have you think.

In a piece of news like something out of a Grand Theft Auto game, a man in New York was arrested for selling drugs out of his ice cream truck. The man made around $1 million in one year by selling ice cream to children from his “Lickity Split” ice cream truck and prescription drugs to his adult customers. It is alleged that over 40,000 oxycodone were sold from the truck which was a front for a thirty-person drug ring. And to think I’m willing to settle for getting some halfway decent ice cream from my neighbourhood ice cream truck like a sucker.

I know that newspapers are dying but I didn’t think that they were doing so poorly that gainfully employed reporters had to find alternative ways to make ends meet. A sports reporter for the New Hampshire Union Leader who has been with the paper for the last 23 years was just sentenced to up to two-and-a-half years for running a small prostitution ring. He used Craigslist to advertise his ring’s services and had his women set up shop in hotel rooms around New Hampshire. While losing his job is bad enough, two-and-a-half years in prison might mean that he might not even have a newspaper industry to go back to when he gets out.

Stories of dogs or bears or cougars (and the animal kind of cougar too) terrorizing neighbourhoods are fairly standard. However, a neighbourhood in Bennington, Vermont, has an unusual animal problem: An attack squirrel. At least three people on East Street in Bennington have been pounced on by the squirrel over the last few weeks. The working theory is that the squirrel was actually raised by some neighbourhood residents and released back into the wild. Now it’s homesick and will take it out on anyone it doesn’t know. That has to be the single craziest explanation for an animal attack I’ve ever heard… Only in America.


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