Not News of the Week

It’s time for the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

Sometimes it takes a little help to keep a would-be crook down. In New Hampshire, it takes a little help from the produce section. A would-be thief tried to hold up a convenience store but was taken down from behind by a customer. When he later tried to escape while the store owner called the police, he was quickly brought down by a squash-wielding delivery man. The produce delivery product came in as the thief tried exiting and sacrificed his product in a shower of squash innards and seeds. That gives new meaning to cleanup in aisle three. Continue reading

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Not News of the Week

It’s time for all the news that’s not fit for print. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

I’ve never been a big fan of career politicians but I’ve finally found one that I can support. A Brazilian clown working under the stage name Tiririca won a seat in Brazil’s congress when he was elected as a federal deputy for Sao Paulo. He won in his electoral district by nearly double the number of votes as the next closest candidate who happened to be a former governor of Rio. Tiririca’s campaign was boosted by the use of ads posted on YouTube and viewed millions of times. Among his campaign slogans were “It can’t get any worse” and “What does a federal deputy do? Truly, I don’t know. But vote for me and I will find out for you.” No wonder why he got elected. He’s smarter than most politicians and actually tells the truth. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

A woman in Montana has discovered the top secret way to fend off a bear attack: Bash it with a zucchini. The woman was woken by a raucous in her backyard and found her dog fighting with a small black bear. She tried to intervene by screaming at the bear but that just got it to charge at her. So to fend off the bear, she grabbed the first thing in her kitchen that she could get her hands on. That happened to be a 12 inch long zucchini that she picked from her garden earlier in the day. She flung it at the bear, hit it in the head and scared the bear off. Both the woman and her dog were no worse for wear. No word if the bear made off with the vegetable for its evening snack. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

Our first weird story of the week might not even be true. The Sun newspaper in Britain reported that a British teenager sent an insulting email to US President Barack Obama and was told by police that he was barred from ever entering the country. The teen claimed that he was drunk at the time he wrote the email and called Obama a “p***k.” (I’m not entirely sure what the apparent insult was.) Local police went to the man’s residence to pass along a message from the FBI that he’s no longer welcome in the USA. However, the blog Gizmodo says that Homeland Security doesn’t tell people that they’ve barred entry from the country. They just make notes on the person’s file and they’re turned away at customs. So what’s the weirder part of the story: That the kid was banned from the USA or that it looks like a newspaper ran a fake story? Continue reading

Not News of the Week

It’s time for all the news that’s not fit for print. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

Parents have a very weird concept of what’s ruining their children’s childhood. For example, swearing on TV and radio is bad even though they already knew the words. Similarly, in Italy, a mother of two teenagers filed a complaint with police about a topless sunbather despite the likelihood that her kids probably watch more porn than the entire Lowdown crew combined. The family was at a public beach when she asked the sunbather to cover her “ample breasts” (according to her lawyer) and stop rubbing cream on her body because it had “troubled her sons aged 14 and 12.” The sunbather’s lawyer was a bit more sympathetic to the sons’ “trouble” saying, “Let’s be clear my client is tall, brunette and has an ample breast and is therefore going to naturally be sensuous when she applies cream to her chest.” Gee, if living in Italy is always that troubling, I think I may have to go there to see what all the fuss is about. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

It’s time for another dose of all the news that’s not fit for print. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

There’s nothing better than a 911 call over something ridiculous. My personal favourites are calls about McDonald’s being out of food but this one jumped to the top of the list. A man in Manitoba was arrested for calling 911 because he wanted the Winnipeg Jets back. He’s a little late on his call because the Jets moved to Phoenix in 1996. The 911 operator was willing to deal with one call from the man but when he kept calling back, despite being repeatedly disconnected, police were sent to arrest him. When the operator told the man that the police were on the way to arrest him, he said, “If you’re coming to get me, can you bring me some smokes.” Between wanting the Jets and smokes, he’s got his priorities straight. Continue reading

Not News of the Week

It’s that time of the week again. It’s the weirdest and wackiest news from around the world. It’s the Not News of the Week.

Canadians can seem to find anything to complain about during the G20 summit in Toronto last month. For example, a protester was arrested for assaulting a police officer during one of the “peaceful” protests. Said protester defied repeated warnings from police that continuing to blow bubbles at them could get her arrested. Well, wouldn’t you know it, a bubble hit an officer and into cuffs the protester went. That’s $1 billion of Canadian taxpayers’ money well spent. Continue reading