Not News of the Week

It’s that time of the week again. It’s the weirdest and wackiest news from around the world. It’s the Not News of the Week.

Canadians can seem to find anything to complain about during the G20 summit in Toronto last month. For example, a protester was arrested for assaulting a police officer during one of the “peaceful” protests. Said protester defied repeated warnings from police that continuing to blow bubbles at them could get her arrested. Well, wouldn’t you know it, a bubble hit an officer and into cuffs the protester went. That’s $1 billion of Canadian taxpayers’ money well spent.

The Oranje were fairly well outclassed by La Furia Roja during the 2010 World cup final. Not even divine intervention could help them. A priest in the Netherlands held mass on the morning of the World Cup final wearing an orange cloak in a church decorated with orange flags and with a congregation singing soccer songs. Not surprisingly, the priest was dedicating the mass to the Dutch national soccer team. When word leaked about the mass, the local bishop suspended the priest. The irony of this is that the Roman Catholic Church will do nothing about sex offenders but talk about the soccer match and they throw you out on your ass.

Here’s your not-so-frivolous lawsuit of the week brought to you in part by bad parenting. A high school football referee is suing the Springfield (Oregon) School District for negligence based on an incident during an October 2008 football game. During that game, the ref was run over, not by the players, but by a two-year-old driving a hijacked golf cart. The kid climbed into the unattended cart, which still had the key in the ignition, and stood on the accelerator pedal. He took off, out of control  and into the ref. I know that refs aren’t the most loved people on earth but running them down over a few calls seems excessive.

You have to love the Aussies. They love to drink and they love to do crazy things even more. A man from New South Wales decided that there wasn’t much to do in Western Australia for vacationers but drink. When the bar he was at threw him out, he decided to visit a nearby crocodile park. He hopped a fence and decided to ride an 18-foot saltwater crocodile. Not surprisingly, it didn’t turn out well for the man. He suffered some cuts to his leg but things got much worse when the police got involved. They revealed the offending croc’s name was Fatso and that they wouldn’t reveal the man’s name because he suffered enough embarrassment.

Say what you will about the monarchy but the Brits are doing one thing better than everyone else. A man from Barnsley was recently rung up on charges of operating an illegal vehicle on the pavement. That illegal vehicle was a Segway. Apparently, scooters and similar vehicles have been banned from paved roads in Britain since the introduction of the Highways Act of 1835. It just took ten years from when it first saw British soil for an intrepid police officer to do something about it. Hopefully, an equally as intrepid judge bans these things from British society to show the rest of the world how stupid people look on them. Now about bicycles…

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