Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

Our first weird story of the week might not even be true. The Sun newspaper in Britain reported that a British teenager sent an insulting email to US President Barack Obama and was told by police that he was barred from ever entering the country. The teen claimed that he was drunk at the time he wrote the email and called Obama a “p***k.” (I’m not entirely sure what the apparent insult was.) Local police went to the man’s residence to pass along a message from the FBI that he’s no longer welcome in the USA. However, the blog Gizmodo says that Homeland Security doesn’t tell people that they’ve barred entry from the country. They just make notes on the person’s file and they’re turned away at customs. So what’s the weirder part of the story: That the kid was banned from the USA or that it looks like a newspaper ran a fake story?

Underestimating someone can lead to a bit more trouble than its worth. A drunk woman in Louisiana did the smart thing and called a cab to go home. When she got home, things went downhill. She decided that she had to go to Michigan and started stripping in the backseat of the taxi. The cabbie decided that she should be left under the watchful eye of the police so he drove to the police station. When the driver went inside, his passenger took off with the car. She didn’t quite get to Michigan, though. She drove about a block before pulling over and passing out. Police think she may have been on drugs when she called the cab. I think they’re probably right. Who’d want to go to Michigan in the fall? It’s cold up there.

The country of Israel’s recent push into social networking continued with a purchase from an unexpected seller. They just bought the @Israel twitter handle from a porn site owner. Israel has recently made a push into Facebook, Flicker and YouTube but just now got the Twitter account they were hoping for. To get it, they had to pay off porn website boss Israel Melendez who, despite not having used the account since 2007, got a fair chunk of change from the transaction. However, it turns out that Melendez didn’t really want @Israel. He was tired of telling people that he was a guy named Israel and not a country named Israel.

Normally a story like this would end up in a Link-Off but it’s too ridiculous to not call Not News. NBA star Shaquille O’Neal is being sued by a former employee who claimed that Shaq hacked his voicemail and computer, planted child pornography on it and then disposed of the evidence. The employee says that Shaq had him dispose of evidence of one of his affairs. When said employee gave information to a mistress for a lawsuit, The Big Shaqtus (as he was at the time) tried to hack his voicemail and got one of his law enforcement buddies to frame him for child pornography. So you’re telling me that Shaq can’t hit a free throw but can hack a voicemail system, get law enforcement to frame people and do it all without getting caught? Right…

And having just got a bullshit parking ticket myself, I can appreciate the thought behind this. A police car in Los Angeles was given the boot by a prankster. The boot is a car immobilization device that is clamped on the wheel of a car that has accumulated numerous unpaid tickets. Clearly, the cops aren’t going to get ticketed but a disgruntled driver decided that the LAPD deserved a taste of their own medicine. While the driver and his partner were in court for a hearing, their car was booted. They had to wait around for the fire department to cut the boot off while onlookers shared a chuckle at their expense.

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