Not News of the Week

It’s time for the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

Fairfax Country, Virginia, schools have taken the advice of chef Jamie Oliver and banned chocolate milk, chicken nuggets, and corn dogs from the cafeteria menu. But it’s not the kids that are raising hell over the changes to the menu but their parents. They’ve started a Facebook campaign trying to get these things back on the menu. Their thinking is that they should have the right to decide what their kids should eat, not the school board. And you wonder why America has a problem with childhood obesity…

In other school news, a Philadelphia middle school is trying to put the cool back into school by adding skateboarding to phys ed classes. Apparently, they aren’t first school to try this. A company from Colorado has sold their patented program to schools in 31 states and four countries. The program includes 20 boards, pads, helmets, a curriculum and an instructional DVD. It’s good to see skateboarding is no longer just for the X Games. Gym classes started to get boring for a while with everyone trying to see if they could touch the rim. Now, we can see a new set of America’s Funniest Home Videos as kids try to jump over their brother.

Here’s one of the better head-scratchers I’ve come across over the last 57 editions of the Not News. A former coach of the Togolese national soccer team has been suspended for three years by Togo’s football federation after fielding a fake Togo team for an international friendly game. The man brought a team disguised as the Togolese national team to Bahrain where they were drubbed by the host side 3-0. The man was already under suspension for bringing a fake team Egypt in July. Apparently, Bahrain had set up the match using an agent they had been using to schedule international friendlies for years but no one in Togo knew about the game besides the coach and his impostor squad. Mind you, this begs the question: If this was an impostor team, how did Bahrain only win by 3.

Two men in Idaho learned the hard way that using Craigslist to set up a robbery might not give you the easy mark you’re hoping for. They posted a laptop for sale on Craigslist but didn’t expect the buyer they were meeting to rob was the local police chief. When the chief spotted them, he figured something was up so he called for backup and the would-be robbers ran for it. One didn’t get too far and was arrested right away. The other suspect was arrested a short time later. It just goes to show that some things are better not left to chance.

Canadians are good at lots of things. Smuggling drugs doesn’t appear to be one of them. Two people from Laval were arrested at the US border after attempting to smuggle 62 pounds of ecstasy into the States. The two folks brought their sons along with them and said they were going to the Bronx but were said to be nervous when attempting to answer questions. That prompted a more detailed search to be performed and border guards found 82 bags of ecstasy pills in the spare tire. If the would-be smugglers had gotten a flat, it would have been the most expensive flat in history. They had over $2.1 million in drugs in that spare. I hope they brought tire sealant along with them.

Here’s a story that shows the peril of the beach. A German man found out the hard (and embarrassing) way that Spanish sand isn’t as structurally rigid as the German equivalent. He dug a whole on a beach in the Canary Islands only to have it collapse on top of him. He was left buried up to his head for over two hours until the Spanish fire department could dig him out using 15 firefighters and five vehicles. Maybe he should stick to sand castles from now on.

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