I know that there are some people and even major news agencies who get tricked by satirical news agencies like The Onion but with some of the news stories that come out are so out there that you can understand how these satirical stories can be mistaken for real. Some of the stories in today’s linkdump fall along those lines but we do have some serious stories in here too.

Anyway, it’s time for us to do the links. Let’s kick off with Kristen Bell.

Remember the Secret Service’s prostitution scandal of 2012? Well, the DEA had them beat. They’ve been having sex parties with prostitutes since 2001. (Associated Press)

Former Ontario deputy minister of education Ben Levin plead guilty to child pornography charges. The problem is that he’s admitted to more than just simple child porn and not been charged. (National Post)

After a 15-month pilot project, Hamilton Police have launched a program that will see mental health workers join police on the frontlines when they receive calls that may involve a mental health issue. (CTV News)

How much will Wal-Mart’s raises help employees? It will take them 12 hour days for more than a million years to make what Christy Walton is currently worth. (Bloomberg)

The Vatican’s exorcists say that Satanism is encouraged by everything from Harry Potter and Twilight to… yoga? Really? (Sputnik International)

A man suffered a ruptured tendon in his left thumb after playing far, far too much Candy Crush. (WTOP)

Christy Mack talks about her “tragic love story” (ESPN’s words, not mine) with War Machine. (ESPN W)

A French TV station accidentally released their social media passwords during an on-air interview. Good job. (Ars Technica)

I’ve been really into Heroes of the Storm lately. Some months ago, an acquaintance asked on behalf of a friend if I would consider broadcasting League of Legends. I don’t know if I could do League but I’d love to give HOTS a try. In the meantime, here’s a crazy hour-long Heroes match. Keep in mind most minutes run in the 15 to 25 minute range.