Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

While America could definitely use gun control, sometimes people learn about the importance of it themselves. For example, take an 18-year-old Florida man who learned the hard way about cleaning guns. He accidentally shot himself while cleaning the gun. The bullet passed through his penis and left testicle before ending up in his thigh. Suffice to say that he’ll only be shooting blanks from now on.

Speaking of Florida, what do Floridians do when they want to go to a strip club but are stuck watching their kid? They leave him with the front clerk at the club. A 26-year-old Daytona man went to the Sharks Lounge but rather than be an irresponsible parent, he decided to bring his kid with him rather than home alone. It might seem like a bad idea but strippers are always nice to their customers. Sure, they’re just looking for tips but what would earn a bigger tip than babysitting.

I don’t exactly understand what the big deal about flash mobs are but I am surprised that more don’t end like a recent one in Baton Rouge. A group of 200 or so teens planned a flash mob at the Mall of Louisiana but it never got started. The planned flash mob instead became a flash food court brawl that forced cashiers to abandon their posts and the mall to be evacuated. The Jets and the Sharks were bound to meet at one of these things eventually.

Super Mario might be a hero to gamers but that doesn’t mean that he can do what he pleases. A man dressed as the Nintendo mascot was in Times Square when he allegedly groped a woman. When police arrested him, they also found him in possession of marijuana. If he wanted to be thematically correct, he’d be carrying mushrooms. Sorry, Mario, it looks like your princess is in another castle.

In Iowa, you can’t fire someone for being a woman but you can fire them for being too attractive. A dental assistant was fired after ten years of work because the dentist’s wife said the woman was a threat to their marriage. The assistant allegedly wore clothes that were too tight and flirted with the boss. The fact that the dentist’s wife also worked at the office didn’t help matters either. So if you’re going to flirt with the boss, don’t do it in front of his wife.

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