With Jackie on assignment these next two weeks (I’ve always wanted to say that), I’m your pop culture guru for the next two editions of the Entertainment Link-Off. It’s hard enough finding links for one linkdump when the interweb is basically shut down for American Thanksgiving. I had to fill two linkdumps on about 48 hours notice but I think you’ll be happy.

Anyway, there are three big wide releases this weekend (well, by this weekend I mean on Wednesday). There is the heavily hyped Life of Pi which is the best reviewed movie of the weekend but still looks like a low rent version of Castaway. Alternatively, you could watch the star-studded animated Rise of the Guardians. Or if you want to rot your brain, you can go see Red Dawn. Rather than promote those movies, here’s former Chuck, now Dexter star Yvonne Strahovski.

Don’t be completely terrified of what Disney might do for the next Star Wars trilogy. They hired Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi scribe Lawrence Kasdan to right Episode VIII. Sadly, the Episode IX guy isn’t as confidence inspiring. (Deadline)

Patton Oswalt is always hilarious but his true stories from inside Hollywood might be even better than his standup. (Film Drunk)

On one of my previous linkdumps, I linked to an examination of which Bond villain’s plans for world domination would be successful. Now, here’s a look at which villain’s get rich quick scheme would have worked. (The Economist)

Just for different, here’s a top ten list of top ten lists that Mean Girls should always be included on. (Pajiba)

Did you know that Judd Apatow wrote a Simpsons script back in 1990? Well, it’s going to be produced for the 2013-2014 season. (SplitSider)

The Tulsa Oilers of the Central Hockey League are going to have a Batman Night. They are also going to sport the best jerseys ever. (With Leather)

Speaking of Batman, in an exclusive-ish clip, director Christopher Nolan talks about the Tumblr Bat Mobile. (Top Gear)

If you thought going on Rihanna’s 777 Tour would be cool, you’d be right. If your idea of cool was a total lack of sleep, food or bathrooms available for use. Doesn’t that violate the Geneva Convention? (Gawker)

Because the CFL and TSN hate Canada and all of you, Justin Bieber will be part of the halftime show of Sunday’s 100th Grey Cup. Because Prime Minister Harper hates Canada and all of you, he gave Justin Bieber a Diamond Jubilee Medal which the Bieb accepted while wearing train conductor overalls with only one strap done up. (BuzzFeed)

Now that the hype machine surrounding his move to CNN is ramping up, Tony Bourdain is making the media rounds and recently did a Q&A. (UPROXX)

Star Trek II wasn’t Gene Roddenberry’s only attempt to get back on TV. Three rejected pilots were made based on his PAX universe. Now, Warner Brothers is releasing them to the world. (Gamma Squad)

Do you know what the 20 longest-running TV shows of all-time are? You will thanks to this handy list. (TV Overmind)

We’re ramping up video game posts on the run up to Christmas. That doesn’t mean we can’t do some video game links. First, it’s a collection of reviews of the year’s biggest games. (Kotaku)

Not all of the year’s best games were on that list. Here’s another list of the best games that you probably didn’t play including the year’s best indie games. (IGN)

Can’t get enough of The Hobbit? Would a fan-made 7 minute trailer do the trick?

Who doesn’t love a good supercut? Here’s a six-minute mashup of over 100 sci-fi movies.

Song of the year? It’s Dumb Ways to Die.