Over the last 72 or so hours, Madonna has played the Super Bowl halftime show and released a new single. It’s only appropriate that I give her latest comeback the recognition it deserves. That’s why the winner of this week’s Worst of Music award is Madonna with her new single Give Me All Your Luvin’.
Things in this video that we don’t need to see: That much of Madonna’s legs, that much Madonna cleavage, Madonna, etc. The song sounds like it’s straight from the 1980s which is actually a good thing because that’s when Madonna was best… But that’s sort of like saying that STDs were best in the 1980s because we were a more carefree society when it came to safe sex. The video also indicates that Madonna thought it was still the 1980s because she’s dressed in a far too revealing outfit. I’ve seldom envied blind people as much as I did while watching that video.
As for the actual song, I’m not actually sure what Madonna’s singing voice actually sounds like any more because all I hear is the computer tweaking that they’ve done to keep her on tune. I realize it’s part of the song’s 80s camp-ness but they’ve done everything but autotune her voice here. And the song really goes downhill when Madonna isn’t singing. I know, I’m shocking myself by saying that too. The song loses its 80s camp-ness when Nicki Minaj and MIA come in. They just don’t fit with the song in the slightest. It goes from 80s synth pop to some hybrid with rap/hip-hop. I should also point out that the lyrics and this song are immediately forgettable. But Madonna is right with one lyric in this song. Every record sounds the same, especially hers.
So congrats, Madonna. You’ve won the prestigious Worst of Music award for this week.
Have a better WoM candidate for next week? Drop it in the comments.