One thing I noticed over that short period where CM Punk made watching today’s WWE tolerable to watch again was that some finishing moves are awful. They either look like they lack punch or look ridiculous in the sense of “how can you pull that off?” I know that a key part of wrestling is for fans to suspend their disbelief like watching a TV show. But like any TV show, there are moments that you can’t suspend your disbelief through. So with that as the criteria, here are the ten worst finishers in today’s WWE.

#10 Killswitch (Facebuster) – Christian

Driving someone’s face into the mat has to hurt. There’s no denying that this one looks like it could hurt if properly executed. However, one of the criteria I noted above was the ability to legitimately pull off a move. It’s hard to see how you could pull this off in a fight. It’s hard to see how you can stand behind a guy, grab his arms in a double chicken wing, spin him around and drop him. The impact works but it’s the setup that fails this move.

#9 Little Jimmy (Reverse STO) – R-Truth

Like with the Killswitch, driving someone’s face into the mat looks like it could be a legitimate finishing move. The difference between that facebuster and this one is that Christian actually ensures that his opponents hit the mat with their faces by falling with them. Truth’s opponents always look like they fall short of the mat. The leaping R-Truth does really hurts the move too. If he’d take the jump out, the move would look a little quicker and the impact might look a bit more believable.

#8 World’s Strongest Slam (Falling forward powerslam) – Mark Henry

How can a 400 lb. man have an awful finisher when he practically flops on top of his opponent? Well, it’s the practically part. Most of the times I’ve seen the “world’s strongest man” attempt the World’s Strongest Slam, he hits his knees and drops his opponent. It seldom seems as though he really gets a splash on his opponent. It often looks more like a drop. If he followed through and slammed and splashed his opponent, it wouldn’t make the list. It would actually be a top finisher. It’s that optics that put this finisher on the list.

#7 Rough Ryder (Running leg lariat) – Zack Ryder

I know that he recently got an assist in setting up the Rough Ryder thanks to Hugh Jackman but that doesn’t make it a good finisher. It’s part move and part impact for why it’s here. Ryder’s leg hits his opponent armpit high and they gently fall to the ground. The impact just isn’t really there. You can’t say that a 300 lb. Hulk Hogan leg drop is a bad finisher is a worse finisher than a 200 lb. Ryder leg lariat/drop. It’s the same thing except that Hogan’s looks better than Ryder’s.

#6 Wasteland (Forward standing fireman’s carry) – Wade Barrett

The fireman’s carry is a generic transition move from the 90s. It used to be a guy stumbled toward you, you get him on your shoulders, drop to your knees and he rolls over to the ground. When a guy gets on Barrett’s shoulders, he rolls them forward onto the ground. He doesn’t slam them or anything. He leans forward and they roll/fall off. It doesn’t look like a move that would hurt if it wasn’t for the sound of the mat.

#5 Attitude Adjustment (Standing fireman’s carry) – John Cena

Refer to the previous item on the list for a description of how the fireman’s carry used to be performed. The AA involves the same stumble and getting the guy onto your shoulders but Cena stands and kips the guy off his shoulders and lets him fall to the ground. Basically, it’s a body slam without the slam. How is that supposed to finish a guy off? And yet it’s carried him to a dozen world titles. By the way, since Cena adopted the AA as his finisher, I’ve never seen anyone perform a normal fireman’s carry. I guess Vince doesn’t want people to realize what the AA actually is.

#4 Starship Pain (Springboard split-legged corkscrew moonsault) – John Morrison

I’m sure with any luchadore worth the price of admission, this move would look spectacular. But you have a 200 lb.-ish man attempting a corkscrew moonsault which looks like it involves falling on his ass to launch into the move. If you watch it from start to finish, it just looks like an absolute mess. He needs to start doing it from the top rope without springboarding off his ass so it doesn’t look like he’s screwing it up.

#3 People’s Elbow (Standing elbow drop) – The Rock

Before you give me crap about the currency criteria, The Rock is scheduled to be at WrestleMania 28. Therefore, he’s under contract with the WWE for this match so he’s a WWE employee so he qualifies for this list. And let’s face it, the People’s Elbow is a standing elbow drop with a pile of theatrics. The Rock Bottom is fine but it’s sort of embarrassing to be the guy who has to sit there for 20 seconds and wait to get an elbow on the chest and then sell it like you’ve been shot.

#2 619 (Pendulum kick to face) – Rey Mysterio

The 619 doesn’t work for two reasons: 1) Rey’s opponents have to sell the shit out of the kick and we often see them set up to sell the impact; and 2) Mysterio is only billed at 170 lbs. (but looks about 150 lbs.) so while the kick might hurt but the follow-up splash wouldn’t add enough impact to keep someone down. It’s hard to buy this move as a finisher that’s won him three world titles.

#1 The Cobra (Thrust to face/throat/chest) – Santino Marella

If you get past all the theatrics, we have a quasi-punch move that The Undertaker and Kane have been using for years. They’re able to slightly stun their opponents with their throat thrusts. They basically use their throat thrusts as a punch. Santino, on the other hand, does a little show and throat thrusts somewhere between his opponent’s forehead and sternum. I know he’s a comedy act but Hogan’s Finger Poke of Doom was a better finisher than Santino’s Cobra.