It’s time for another part in our ongoing series in the best of the interweb that can help you through your day. (Well, the interweb that is outside of The Lowdown Blog.) Once again, I take us back for some more of the best stories of My Life is Average. I like this site because it’s a bit more relatable to everyone’s average lives and some of the stories on the website are the sort of thing that regularly happen to people. That doesn’t mean that these stories aren’t funny.
(All stories contained in this post should be considered sic’d.)
Today when I got home from school I kicked my shoe off when I got to my room. It did an impressive ricochet off the wall and landed in the trashcan. I was so impressed with my ninja skills that I kicked off my other shoe as well. It hit me in the face. MLIA
Today, my bathtub caught on fire. MLIA
I was at the park and it was cloudy. A pair of kids asked me where I live, so I told them I was an angel. They asked me to prove it. I clapped my hands and just then lighting flashed and there was a huge BOOM, their faces.Priceless.MLIA
Today, I saw this handwritten poster on school saying “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II – the end of an era. Breaking Dawn Part II – the end of an error.” I seriously wanted to take the poster home. MLIA
Today my teacher pointed a ruler at me and proceeded to tell the class, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got 3 days ISS for asking which end she was refering to. MLIA
Today, I accomplished my life-long dream: my shampoo and conditioner bottles ran out at the same time. MLIA.
Today it took me ten minutes, two knives, and a hammer to open a jar of peanut butter. MLIA
Last night I spent $20 on 2 boxes, 2 rolls of tape, and markers to build a cardboard car with my best friend. The look on the guy’s face at the McDonald’s drive through? Priceless. MLIA
Today, while taking an algebra test, I got stuck on a question because I couldn’t remember for the life of me what a sideways inifinity symbol meant. After a good five minutes, I realized that it was an eight. Sometimes I wonder about myself. MLIA
Today, I ate food. It was good. MLIA.
today my husband, a hard core old school biker, covered in tattoos and piercings, was standing on a stepping stool in the kitchen in the kitchen searching frantically for sprinkles. MLIA
When I was graduating from high school, I had to empty my locker. Despite being a rather small locker, I managed to find three dictionnaries, two lunchboxes, 14 forks, 12 spoons, 5 knives, 7 tupperwares, half my weight’s worth of papers and one Mexican hat. MLIA.
Today, I got a paper cut and my super manly gym teacher gives me a hello kitty band-aid. I go to an all boys school. I am still confused. MLIA
Today, I saw a woman walking her kid on a leash and pushing her dog in a stroller. MLIA
After watching a cooking show, I got the sudden urge to cook a masterpiece. I ended up just pouring myself a bowl of cereal. MLIA.
Today, I was lying in bed using my phone and it lost reception so I decided to try throwing it in the air to see if that would help it get reception. I forgot that my fan was on right above my bed. Lets just say my phone didn’t get reception and won’t ever again. MLIA
Today, I woke up and went downstairs only to find my sister had left the milk out on the counter. Annoyed, I took the milk, and was about to put it away when I found a box of cereal in the fridge. Apparently, my sister is not a morning person. MLIA
Today, I went to the pool. I had to walk throughout the gym part, and there, I saw a guy lifting invisible weights. Rock on, random dude. Rock on. HLIA
At our floor meeting, the R.A. was explaining the rules of power strips in the room and said, “you can’t just plug a power strip into a power strip into a power strip, it’s not Inception.” MLIA.
Today I clicked ‘average’ on a story without looking at how many votes there already was. I looked after I clicked it and it said 778, I immediately clicked ‘meh’ so it would to back to 777. MLIA.