2011 Name of the Year Bracketology (Part 2)

I’ve never been much of a bracketologist (as anyone that’s ever taken my money in a March Madness pool will confirm) but I feel compelled to give it a go for this. Somebody has put together a Name of the Year bracket and it’s sweeping the internet. But with all the talk about it, I haven’t actually seen anyone go through the bracket matchup by matchup to predict who will take home the top name of 2011. After all, if people can go this crazy over 68 college basketball teams, why not over 64 crazy names?

Make sure that you’ve read our Round of 64 picks for the 2011 Name of the Year bracket before checking out the final 31 matchups of the bracket. Click here for Part One of the 2011 Name of the Year Bracketology breakdown.

Second Round

Bulltron Region

#1 Monquarius Mungo vs. #9 Rockwell Bonecutter
Analysis: You don’t get  a #1 seed if you don’t deserve it. Mungo goes through again to the Sweet Sixteen.
Winner: #1 Monquarius Mungo

#5 Silverberry Mouhon vs. #13 Col. Many-Bears Grinder
Analysis: I know that beating a #4 seed should make for an easy win over a lowly #5 seed but I don’t think it’ll be that easy here. Grinder should just edge this one out again over Silverberry but this one is likely to be settled by less than 10% of the vote.
Winner: #13 Col. Many-Bears Grinder

#3 Joe Shortsleeve vs. #11 Cassanova McKinzy
Analysis: Cassanova has potential to pick off another higher seed in the second round. However, Shortsleeve is such a great last name that it
Winner: #3 Joe Shortsleeve

#2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson vs. #7 Mississippi Winn
Analysis: Let’s go chalk on this one. Three names are better than two, I suppose.
Winner: #2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson

Sithole Region

#1 Atticus Disney vs. #9 Crusoe Gongbay
Analysis: Let’s apply the Gregory Peck rule again here. I think that Atticus has to win again.
Winner: #1 Atticus Disney

#4 Delorean Blow vs. #5 Flamur Kastrati
Analysis: Here’s a toss-up battle. When in doubt, I have to pick the porn star name for the win.
Winner: #4 Delorean Blow

#3 Lola Porch vs. #6 Sanmorteeno Battle
Analysis: Battle is a good last name but Porch just has that… What do the French call it? I don’t know what. Anyway, Lola tops Sanmoteeno as a name as well so give this one to the #3 seed.
Winner: #3 Lola Porch

#2 John Dough vs. #10 Shahking Gomez
Analysis: No contest. John Dough will be a tough out at any stage of the competition. Irony can definitely be your friend in a name competition.
Winner: #2 John Dough

Dragonwagon Region

#1 Stonegarden Grindlife vs. #8 RexAchilles Imperial
Analysis: I thought Grindlife’s first round matchup could be close. This could be the closest battle with a #1 seed in the second round. For the sake of being contrary, I’m calling the upset.
Winner: #8 RexAchilles Imperial

#5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr. vs. #13 Drago Slaughter
Analysis: Like I said in the first round, over half of marriages end in divorce. That has to give the edge to Bad Marriage Jr.
Winner: #5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr.

#11 Monsterville Horton IV vs. #14 Dr. Loveday Conquest
Analysis: One “Cinderella” will move onto the Sweet Sixteen. While I think that Conquest could very well win, there’s something to be said for the power of having a number in your name. Horton hears the Sweet Sixteen… Dammit! That’s another Jim Nantz pun.
Winner: #11 Monsterville Horton IV

#2 Taco B.M. Monster vs. #10 Tore Vikingstad
Analysis: Like I said earlier, there’s a lot of hype over the Monster. As much as I want hockey’s entrant to go on, I think he’s out after one round.
Winner: #2 Taco B.M. Monster

Chrotchtangle Region

#1 La’Peaches Pitts vs. #9 Vivacious Crews
Analysis: I know that I said that the Dragonwagon Region had the toughest battle for the #1 seed but Pitts doesn’t have an easy go here. That being said, I think it’s a narrow win here for Pitts.
Winner: #1 La’Peaches Pitts

#4 Yu Arafuka vs. #12 Orel Oral
Analysis: It’s a dirty name against the Hot Clicks bump. Considering Yu Arafuka has one of my personal favourite words in there, I’ll take the #4 seed to move on.
Winner: #4 Yu Arafuka

#3 Spartacus Chino vs. #6 Happy Kumar
Analysis: I never thought I’d see a battle of names made famous by Charlton Heston and Kal Penn. Because Harold and Kumar has 44 years of youth on its side compared to Spartacus, Kumar moves on.
Winner: #6 Happy Kumar

#2 Madz Negro vs. #7 Jadeveon Clowney
Analysis: Can you really vote against Madz Negro when he’s up against a clown(ey)? Didn’t think so.
Winner: #2 Madz Negro

Sweet Sixteen

Bulltron Region

#1 Monquarius Mungo vs. #13 Col. Many-Bears Grinder
Analysis: My Bulltron region Cinderella Many-Bears Grinder will face his toughest test (I assume it’s a he) in #1 Monquarius Mungo. I think that Grinder’s magical run ends three wins short of the NOTY title.
Winner: #1 Monquarius Mungo

#2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson vs. #3 Joe Shortsleeve
Analysis: There’s something I like about the name “Joe.” In a way, it’s better and more fun that the ridiculous names that make up most of the NOTY bracket. The unusual usualness of Joe should get him the win here.
Winner: #3 Joe Shortsleeve

Sithole Region

#1 Atticus Disney vs. #4 Delorean Blow
Analysis: Gregory Peck/Walt Disney vs. a porn star name. This will be tough one but I think that Disney will come up a winner here. After all, 90s Disney movies reference sex at least as much as 90s porno.
Winner: #1 Atticus Disney

#2 John Dough vs. #3 Lola Porch
Analysis: I doubt that Dough will make it by the next round but Dough will be in the money over Porch in this round.
Winner: #2 John Dough

Dragonwagon Region

#5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr. vs. #8 RexAchilles Imperial
Analysis: Just because you take out a #1 seed doesn’t mean that you are unbeatable. I must have a history of bad romance because I keep wanting to go with Bad Marriage Jr. in each of Vernon’s matchups.
Winner: #5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr.

#2 Taco B.M. Monster vs. #11 Monsterville Horton IV
Analysis: Most years and in most battles, Monsterville wouldn’t even be second guessed as the winner. However, Taco Monster is just too great a name to be denied here.
Winner: #2 Taco B.M. Monster

Chrotchtangle Region

#1 La’Peaches Pitt vs. #4 Yu Arafuka
Analysis: My fondness for a certain word in Yu Arafuka’s name has me thinking that another #1 seed will fall relatively early.
Winner: #4 Yu Arafuka

#2 Madz Negro vs. #6 Happy Kumar
Analysis: This one could be close but I’m thinking that close will be within only 15%. Kal Penn can’t carry the day against the maddening dominance of Negro… Sorry again about the Nantz pun.
Winner: #2 Madz Negro

Elite Eight

Bulltron Region

#1 Monquarius Mungo vs. #3 Joe Shortsleeve
Analysis: This is a tough one but that’s the case with just about any battle when you get this late in the bracket. I’m going to go chalk on this one but it can go either way.
Winner: #1 Monquarius Mongo

Sithole Region

#1 Atticus Disney vs. #2 John Dough
Analysis: John Dough is a great name but it’s just not enough to get him to the Final Four. Disney dominates yet again.
Winner: #1 Atticus Disney

Dragonwagon Region

#2 Taco B.M. Monster vs. #5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr.
Analysis: All that hype over Taco Monster makes me think that he’s too tough an out for my projected powerhouse of Bad Marriage. Of course, the only problem is that this is all speculation of how people will vote so maybe neither will make it out of the Round of 64.
Winner: #2 Taco B.M. Monster

Chrotchtangle Region

#2 Madz Negro vs. #4 Yu Arafuka
Analysis: I think I’ve been pretty obvious about who I see coming out of this region over the last few rounds. I’m on the Arafuka bandwagon.
Winner: #4  Yu Arafuka

Final Four

#1 Monquarius Mongo vs. #1 Atticus Disney
Analysis: It’s a #1 versus #1 battle in the Final Four, something that the real march Madness couldn’t give us. I have to take Atticus in this one. I’m not sure what a Monquarius is but it’s definitely dead here.
Winner: #1 Atticus Disney

#2 Taco B.M. Monster vs. #4 Yu Arafuka
Analysis: The Monster rolls on and tears Arafuka apart. People love their tacos. That must be the only reason Taco Bell is still in business when their taco meat is less than 100% meat.
Winner: #2 Taco B.M. Monster

Championship Final

#1 Atticus Disney vs. #2 Taco B.M. Monster
Analysis: I don’t think many people would have picked Disney to make the finals of the Name of the Year but here he is on my bracket. However, I don’t think Disney can overcome the hype that surrounds Taco B.M. Monster. Everyone is loving this name so it’s hard to see how he could be beaten at any stage of this competition.
Winner: #2 Taco B.M. Monster

And there’s the complete breakdown of the Name of the Year bracket in a way that rivals the real March Madness. Who doesn’t love a name like Taco Monster anyway?

Vote for the 2011 Name of the Year here.

Legal-ish Disclaimer: This post is presented for entertainment purposes only. I don’t think you can bet on the outcome of this bracket. If you can and are betting on this, you have bigger problems than just think my advice is sound.

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