Not News of the Week

It’s time for the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s the Not News of the Week.

We hear all about celebrities claiming they don’t want their sex tapes to be released but a recent survey of women would indicate that those celebrities are lying. A survey of women on the dating website Can Do Better indicates that 64% of women would make and release a sex tape if they thought it would advance their career. Interestingly, men are less inclined to make sex tapes to get ahead with 42% of men willing to release a tape. The survey also said 45% of women would sleep with their college professor to pass a course and 36% would blackmail a coworker or boss to get ahead. I know it’s a dog eat dog world but there might be more catfights than we previously thought.

I’ve run stories about cocaine smuggled as a leg cast and the World Cup trophy but this one takes the cake. Well, not a cake exactly. A suspected drug smuggler had his house searched for cocaine after police traced a shipment to his address from Puerto Rico. When police got a hold of the package after it had been delivered, they got a giant bologna. But they weren’t duped by a false tip. Inside that bologna was over kilo of cocaine. This just goes to show that people are willing to try anything to move their product. No word on what happened to the rest of the bologna that was hollowed out.

Life lesson: If you’re planning on living a super-secret double life, the last place you want to put any evidence of that on is FaceBook. An Ohio woman found out her husband had a second wife in Florida thanks to picture on his FaceBook profile. Turns out that she really had no idea what was happening even though her kids were at the secret second wedding. Her husband and kids were at the secret wedding in 2008 at Disneyworld. Now, the husband, second wife and kids are all living happily ever after in Florida. It’s like your typical Disney movie… If they were producing that new FaceBook movie.

If your parents ever complained about you spending money on comic books, you’ll love this story. A family was able to stave off the foreclosure on their home thanks to a fortunate discovery while packing. In their basement, they found a copy of Action Comics #1 which was the first comic book to ever feature Superman. The family did some research to see what the comic was worth and found out that recent sales of Action Comics #1 reached upwards of $1.5 million. So they consigned the comic for an online auction and the auction house called the bank to tell them money would soon be on its way. The comic is expected to fetch the family about $250,000 which will be more than enough to pay off their debt.

Okay, this story isn’t your standard Not News fare but its ridiculousness makes it fit right in. On Saturday night was the much ballyhooed boxing vs. MMA bout between James “Lights Out” Toney and Randy “The Natural” Couture. The only reason this is not news is because the outcome was what we expected. Couture put Toney on the ground with a simple single-leg takedown and got him to quickly submit to an arm triangle choke. While the Not News is usually about weird or wacky stories from around the world, Dana White provided us with an event that was truly not news. In other really not news News, the Toronto Maple Leafs have already been eliminated from playoff contention.

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