The Humanoids: Fade To Black

It’s a slightly abbreviated version of The Humanoids today. I blame it largely on catching swine flu or something like that. Yeah, getting swine flu and blogging sounds reasonably tough for the internet. Let’s go with that. So as my time on earth apparently fades to black, so do many of our subjects today. Some have seen their careers come to an apparent end. Others are still going for the time being but you would have to imagine they’re in bad shape or are going to close up shop soon.

Speaking of things closing up shop soon, the radio show will be taping tonight. Why would the radio show be closing up shop soon? Well, there might be a change in plans/location for a host which could throw a wrench in the usual operations. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We always manage to solve things at the last second. Anyway, on with the show.

Kimbo Slice
kimbo-sliceWell that was a let down, wasn’t it? After all of three weeks, Kimbo Slice fought on The Ultimate Fighter 10. He looked impressive on his feet but when he was taken down, he was very out of his element. Clearly, Roy Nelson wasn’t doing any damage to Kimbo. The fact is that Kimbo wasn’t defending himself so Herb Dean had to stop the fight. I like that Dana White decided to sign Slice to a contract though. Even though White himself said that Kimbo wasn’t going to be in the UFC unless he fought his way in through the reality TV show, he signed the internet sensation. Sometimes pride has to take a backseat to business sense. Sure names like Liddell, Couture, Rampage, and Fedor appeal more to the hardcore MMA fan who likes good fighting. However, the name Slice means a lot more on the income statement than the name Fedor. That’s just good marketing.

Phoenix Coyotes
gary-bettmanAre we done with this yet? Can we finally call it a day? On Wednesday, Judge Redfield T. Baum announced that neither the NHL nor Jim Balsillie was getting the Coyotes. Balsillie was denied because the judge wasn’t about to set a massive precedent by saying that a sports league didn’t have exclusive control over the ownership and location of its franchises. However, the NHL lost out because they were trying to cut out Jerry Moyes and Wayne Gretzky from bankruptcy proceedings. In other words, the NHL can’t pick and choose the creditors they want to give money to, even if they feel like Moyes tried to hose them. The NHL can come back with another bid if they give money to all the creditors. Balsillie has backed out but says that he’ll be first in line for tickets to the home opener of the 7th Canadian team… assuming he’s not too bitter about how this turned out.

Ben Roethlisberger
ben-roethlisbergerThis season, the Pittsburgh Steelers went from Super Bowl champions to struggling to be in the playoff picture. Sure, that’s a bit of a stretch after 3 weeks but they have no offensive line and their defence is porous without Troy Polamalu. So after winning the Super Bowl, what was Big Ben up to? He was fooling around with Shaq. Not a big deal, right? It got him a little bit of off-season training and kept him relatively sharp. That’s what he would be doing anyway. This coming Monday, he’ll be fooling around with the stars of the WWE on Monday Night Raw. He will be the guest host which, from watching a couple of past episodes, will involve talking to the audience, acting in a couple of backstage skits, and maybe foiling the evil villain at the end of the day. The Pittsburgh sports media are all over Big Ben, saying that he should be focusing on playing football. However, what else would he be doing on a Monday night? He has a meeting on Monday and a day off on Tuesday. He’d be at Raw anyway, what’s wrong with reciting a script.

Mats Sundin
mats-sundinTo paraphrase Mike Goldberg “IT IS ALL OVER!” MAYBE! Mats Sundin announced his retirement on Wednesday. Not many of hockey fans or Canadians would have noticed because everyone was talking about Judge Baum’s non-decision decision on the Phoenix Coyotes. So after years of the will he or won’t he retire discussion, he’s finally decided to hang up his skates. Of course, we can liken Mats’ saga to America’s favourite will he or won’t he retire man Brett Favre. Although, while Favre has retired twice and comeback, he’s done it before the start of the season both times. Still, it’s a pretty amateur move on his part. Anyway, last season, he took half the year off to see if he was mentally capable of handling a full season of hockey. In reality, he was looking to play for a contender and took his time to see who could make a run at the Cup. Sure, both Favre and Sundin were very good players back in the day and can still make an impact now. But if you want a guy that can’t make a decision, Mats Sundin was far worse than Favre. If Canadians weren’t such annoyingly polite folks, they would have been more pissed at Mats than Brett.

NHL
cherry_reginekOh yeah! I almost forgot to mention that hockey’s back. It’s a little early this year because they’re trying to cram in a two-week Olympic break so they can send their stars off to get exposure on a bigger stage. Or at least some exposure on Direct TV which isn’t carrying the NHL’s main cable partner, Versus. I’m not going to talk about that. Really, the NHL is only here because I wanted a chance to plug the NHL Season Preview again. It seems to be everyone’s favourite Lowdown Blog post of all time. So while you’re here, give it a read. And don’t listen to EA Sports’ predicted standings. They never give the Red Wings any credit. If you don’t play as the Wings, they’ll just scrape into the playoffs. It never fails.

Terrell Owens
terrell-owens-popcornWell, he’s back in the news. Not a surprise when it comes to TO. After getting shutdown for the first time in 185 games last Sunday against the New Orleans Saints. Now, TO is known for creating controversy wherever he goes, often times it’s him throwing his quarterback under the bus for not getting the ball to him. However, after Sunday’s game, TO wasn’t taking the bait from the reporters at his locker who were looking for him to get on QB Trent Edwards’ case. Instead, he’s in the headline for his war of words with New England Patriot-turned-broadcaster Rodney Harrison. Harrison called TO a clown (for no apparent reason) so TO fired back with tweets about Harrison’s drug suspension. Harrison said he’s a champ and TO will never be one. The guy moves out of the biggest spotlight in the NFL to one of the NFL’s sleepiest homes and he’s still a target for the media. He may be one of the all-time great receivers but he’ll never be able to win with the fans and media.

Swine Flu
swine-flu-masksPeople are coming up with all sorts of things to prevent the spread of swine flu… Well, everything except quarantine. That worked but I guess that’s considered very draconian by modern standards. If it ain’t broke… Anywho, the NBA has issued a moratorium on handshakes over swine flu fears. Instead they’re suggesting that players replace them with fist bumps and chest bumps. Churches are talking about removing holy water because it’s apparently not holy enough to combat swine flu. Then again, neither is Tim Tebow so maybe we’re all doomed. Also, everywhere you go will have hand sanitizer on just about every free inch of wall space. I think that’s probably the worst thing to do. In order to combat something that might be a pandemic, we’re going to create a superbug through the overuse of anti-bacterial hand sanitizers. So what are we going to do when we create our own pandemic that we can’t just avoid by changing some habits?

Seinfeld
curb-your-enthusiasm-seinfeld-reunionEverybody’s favourite show about nothing is getting its long-awaited reunion this weekend… Sort of. The cast is supposed to be making a brief appearance on this Sunday’s episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. This season of Curb is all about Larry David finally giving into the pressure of doing a Seinfeld reunion. The first episode of the reunion arc is supposed to be really good. The only question left for me is do I want to start watching the show from this episode or should I pick up from the start? On the plus side, Super Dave is on the show as Larry’s neighbour. Unfortunately, he’s not everybody’s favourite daredevil superstar entertainer. Still, this should be worth a watch.

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