For the 25th time in the blog’s history, it’s time for all the news not fit for print. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

A new study released in Germany finds that men will live longer if they stare at women’s breasts. The researchers say that staring at breasts leads to sexual excitement which gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. A study of 500 men showed that men who stared at women’s breasts had lower blood pressure, slower resting heart rates, and fewer episodes of coronary artery disease. The study said that men should stare at larger breasts for at least 10 minutes a day. This study is bound to make small talk difficult for men who follow this study. That’s especially true when guys use the pickup line “I have to stare at your chest because it helps me to live longer.” Continue reading →