Not News of the Week

If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be the Not News of the Week.

I didn’t realize it but the Canadian government’s economic stimulus program, the Economic Action Plan, still exists. It turns out that they’re advertising it in unusual spaces. Someone found an ad for the EAP on infamous torrent sharing The Pirate bay alongside ads for gambling and dating websites. The government says they didn’t ask for an ad on The Pirate Bay but one of their online ad networks bought one there on their behalf. I actually think advertising on TPB is a good idea. After all, if you’re pirating stuff online, you could use a couple extra bucks.

If you’re planning to rob a home, you should do so well-rested. A man in Oregon spent his night robbing several homes but his last home of the night was just too much work for him so he took a nap. Unfortunately for the robber, he overslept and the home’s owner found the man asleep on the kitchen floor. Suffice to say, the man was arrested. Should have stolen a Red Bull while he was at it.

A woman from the British town of Devon had a pretty good trip after a two-day drug and alcohol binge. It ended with an unusual scene when the woman stole a ferry while shouting “I’m Jack Sparrow!” The low-speed ferry chase lasted an hour and involved police, ambulance and coast guard personnel. If she wasn’t stopped, she would have ended up in St. Tropez. That’s definitely a Jack Sparrow place to go.

Madden is a big deal to serious sports gamers. It’s so serious that police had to called to break up a fight between a pair of brothers playing the game. The older brother didn’t take his loss and the name calling too well which resulted in a fight. In the fight, the apartment’s metal door was bent off its hinges and several pieces of furniture broken. The irony is that the older brother was staying at his younger brother’s apartment in order to be closer to his probation officer and anger management classes. Seems to have worked.

There is a tradition at Patriot High School in Washington, D.C., that students make a show of asking girls out to the big Fall Fest dance. One student seems to have won the title for all-time by enlisting his dad’s help. The boy dropped a stuffed dog with a handkerchief parachute with a tag reading “Fall Fest?” on the football field next to his would-be date who also happened to be on the girl’s soccer team in addition to the football team’s kicker from a U.S. Customs helicopter. There isn’t a confirmation of whether or not the girl said yes but she did tell the Washington Post, “Everyone thinks that we like each other, but it’s not like that at all.” Even after all that, the poor kid got friend zoned.

One thought on “Not News of the Week

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s