For the first time in over a year, it’s time for another edition of the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the not news of the week.

An Egyptian man watched his first ever porn film while at an internet cafe. He claims he did so out of curiosity. What he hadn’t counted on was that the star of his first porno would be his wife. It turns out that first video he clicked on starred his wife in a film she made with an ex-boyfriend while cheating on her husband. The wife also told her husband that she was the star of a total of 11 amateur porn films. I wonder what’s rougher: Seeing your wife as the star of the first porno you watch, finding out your wife cheated on you to make said porno or that she’s made 11 films while being married to you?

Most men can’t get enough sex but occasionally there is too much. A German man went home with a woman he met at the bar and they did the horizontal tango. When the man attempted to make a stealthy exit from her apartment, the woman stopped him until he would have sex with her again. After a couple more goes at it, the man tried to leave again only to be stopped. Left with no other choice, he left through the balcony and called the police. The woman was charged with illegal restraint. And I thought those charges could only be brought up if she was into S&M.

An Australian woman who was injured while having sex during a work trip after a light fixture fell on her will receive workers compensation for her injuries. This case dates back to 2007 when the woman, who works for the Australian government agency that monitors occupational health and safety, was having sex with a gentleman acquaintance of hers in her hotel room. They were going at it hard (the man’s words [of course, he’d sell himself well]) when the glass light fixture fell out of the ceiling and landed on the woman. Her original claim was denied because sex isn’t an expected everyday activity. I guess it is an everyday activity for the Federal Court judge who overturned that original ruling.

Staying in Australia, three Welsh men had themselves a Hangover-style escapade while on the Gold Coast. They went on drunken misadventures one night and woke up in their Surfer’s Paradise hotel room with no recollection of the previous night and with a penguin wandering around their room. It turned out that they broke into Sea World, swam with the dolphins and made off with the penguin. Police were able to track the men down thanks to Facebook about being in possession of the penguin. So if you’re writing the script to Hangover 3, just pretend Facebook doesn’t exist.

The blame for the death of a New Zealand woman has been laid at the feet of her two-gallon-a-day Coca-Cola habit. The woman died two years ago of a heart attack which has been attributed to a likely case of hypokalemia (low potassium) which pathologists trace back to the woman’s Coke addiction. According to the woman’s husband, the first and last thing she’d do during the day was drink Coke. Coca-Cola said her death shows that anything in excess is a bad thing. Science also says that she wouldn’t have been as badly off if she did the other kind of Coke. She would’ve been broke but you can’t OD on cocaine.