Worst of Music: Paris Hilton – Drunk Text

What happens when you lay a track of lyrics read by a completely robotic sounding celebrity heiress slash sex tape starlet over an annoying electronic beat? You get this week’s edition of the Worst of Music. This week, the award goes to the woman who repopularized the celebrity sex tape in the 21st century, Paris Hilton, and her spoken word track Drunk Text.

[vimeo 37622849]

There are three things that make this song one of the worst of all-time. First is the annoying backing music. I’m not a fan of this latest dance music craze but this time out, it seems worse than ever before. However, it could be the second thing wrong with this song that could make the music sound bad. That second thing is the way Paris Hilton says the lyrics. When William Shatner does his spoken word albums, he actually puts expression into his songs. I might make them a bit more camp but music is all about entertainment and Bill certainly does that.

The worst part of this song, by a wide margin, is the lyrics. These could be the worst lyrics ever written in the history of the universe. Listening to the lyrics included in the video above is not recommended as it can completely destroy your intelligence. Just in case you value your sanity, here’s a sample of some of the more interesting ones:

  • I went out to the club the other night to, ya know, dance with my bitches.
  • I’m too lazy to type so I send a photo I took up a dancer’s skirt.
  • You take the word ‘sex’ and mix it with ‘texting,’ it’s called ‘sexting’/When you add drunk sexting, the words just don’t make sense/It’s just a hot mess of misspelled obscenities, body parts and run-on questions I’m not sure what it means to ask.
  • No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore.

So congrats, Paris. You’ve won the prestigious Worst of Music award for this week.

Have a better WoM candidate for next week? Drop it in the comments.

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