I’ve drawn in to cover the entertainment beat for Jackie this week. Unfortunately for you guys, I didn’t remember until this morning that I was supposed to do this post. Anyway, Jackie would normally start by talking about this weekend’s new movies but your options are Tower Heist which looks Razzie-worthy and Harold and Kumar 3D which looks awesome. Unfortunately for the ladies, I’m not going to lead this post off with the great NPH. So let’s kickoff with the leading lady of last week’s big release, The Rum Diary, Amber Heard.

Today in ridiculously odd and disturbing celebrity news, the A-List director who masturbated while eating shrimp in front of Olivia Munn that she noted in her autobiography came forward. It’s the intelligence destroying Brett Ratner. (Film Drunk)

After the jump, career ending performances, Eddie Murphy’s career arc and Trebek tells you to suck on it.

Bill Simmons isn’t writing as much as he used to since opening up Grantland but he’s usually still good. Here he looks at the career of Eddie Murphy. (Grantland)

There are few authors that know how to make themselves momentarily relevant as well as JK Rowling. There was the whole saying Dumbledore is gay when the books had no evidence of such. Now, she’s talking about which characters she almost killed off. (EW Inside Movies)

With the awards season fast approaching, do movie critics have any excuse to skip a movie just because they aren’t interested? (Shockya)

Next week, Jackie will be back on the ELO. I can only assume that his relevant photo of a woman to lead of his post will be Adam Sandler. After all, he’s dressing in drag for his upcoming movie Jack and Jill which looks like it should be the final nail in the coffin of Sandler’s career. But he’s not the only actor to have an atrocious role which effectively ended his career. (UGO)

Not too dissimilar from career enders, here are 21 performances that great actors have clearly phoned in. (Uproxx)

This year’s new sitcom crop hasn’t been much to write home about but is it the worst sitcom season of the last decade? (SplitSider)

It’s officially official. James Bond #23 has a name and a release date. It also has a serious actor as the villain which seems like a waste. (Coming Soon)

Speaking of upcoming movies, guess who’s got a role in The Dark Knight Rises. It’s JGL! (Ace Showbiz)

And speaking of villains, here’s a list of the five most needlessly evil villains in movie history. (Cracked)

How do you know that you’ve made it? When Georgetown University creates a sociology course based on you. But Jay-Z 101 wasn’t the first sign that Jay-Z was kind of a big deal. (Washington Post)

Sure, Ed O’Neill has gotten a career comeback of sorts from the popularity of Modern Family but he made his name as the legendary everyman Al Bundy on Married With Children. (Gunaxin)

Just about everyone give Michael Bay a hard time for making poorly acted, plot deficient, explosion filled alleged pieces of cinema. Put this infographic shows that he’s just giving people what they want. (Geek Tyrant)

Alex Trebek loves hanging contestants out to dry when they make a faux-pas. Take poor Kara who got a wrong answer. Trebek immediately took her down.

The French are odd folks. If you need more evidence, watch this odd Star Wars ballet/disco dance video. I’m not really sure what to say after watching it.