The Best of Tweets From Last Night

It’s time for another instalment in our series of great websites from around the web. We’ve done Texts From Last Night a couple of times before but now it’s time to examine its unlicensed internet equivalent. Tweets From Last Night is a collection of the greatest tweets that involve the greatness that is drunken debauchery. So here’s a look at some of the best tweets from last night.

(All tweets contained in this post should be considered sic’d.)

@JusK3LLs: Last night was #Epic but I’m scared to look at my car I know I ran over a few medians and kinda remember side swiping a car

@FartboXQ: So I think Im stayin in 2nite…Unless some1 wants 2 take me out,pick me up,get me drunk, & f*ck da sh*t out of me?

@And_iStill_dgaf: Drunk as fuck && crying like a mufucka!! I looooooovvvvvvvveeee yyyyyyyy’aaaaaaallllllllllll Buuuuuuttttt I’m drunk as sh*t!!!!

@DeepaPops: Got smashed, puked on meself in back of a yellow cab, then opened the door & proceded to strip off in front of passers by, classy

@christopherolds: had a dream last night that I was at a party with a gorgeous woman I know + she refused me. I can’t even get laid in my own dreams

@ColinLandforce: Drunk friend texts me last night at 1:30 after leaving the club I’m DJing at “What u doing?” I say: “Spinning” (DJing), he responds “me too”

@Tim_Russ: So How About This Yall I was Drunk Driving Last And Another Drunk Driver Hits Me And Kept Goin! Ain’t That A Bitch?!

@zsmithers: So wasted last night, still drunk. Don’t even want to look at how much I spent last night. Luckily we didn’t buy pat that hooker

@RudolphMilano: It was a bad day so I took a xanax & drank beer & wine and gin & tonics and hit a bong. I’m disoriented enough to get a DUI in a wheelchair

@streetwalkerr: You can smoke a peace pipe till yr dick falls off but I aint gonna dance with no fucking wolves no matter how high I get

@WCSMinorCircuit: Got drunk last night and talked about Voldemort. Wasn’t too shabby til we discovered BK doesn’t sell any non-chicken items after 2am.

@Erin_F_Baby: Told a cop last night I would be drunk driving after I left the bar…. He said go ahead because I am too then took a sip of his beer!

@demgasm2010: 1. – What happened last night. 2.- Where the FUCK is my car? 

@noelle_tt: I’m drunk, so it may not be true, but I think my friends vagina-blocked me tonight, making me leave at fucking 2 a.m. Pre-last-call

@PANZYPETE: LUV HOW U SUK MY COCK LAST NIGHT! AND U REMOVED ME FROM UR SITE READ MY TWEETS NOW WHORE

@julierflanagan: severely bourbon drunk, taco bell, crying myself to sleep on my VERY LARGE PILLOW

@Kakashi_dono: So I guess the floor puked on itself. Somebody owes me two bath towels and a carpet and a bathroom washing. I’m still angry.

@mandashazaam: Yes I’m still drunk. Yes it was me who showed my boobs to Keith Buckley. Yes I almost got into a fight. Yes it was an awesome night. 

@PussyPopnPistol: I remember the lAst strip club I went to I had to smack the shyt out the owner…I don’t know what he said but wen I’m drunk I hear anything

@Fleshcake: I don’t even want any gifts, I just want to see someone butt bong a beer while doing a keg stand, aka the liquid gang bang.

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