Not News of the Week

A day late and a dollar short but it’s still the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s the Not News of the Week.

Let’s lead off with the “Only in America” story of the week. A middle school student in New York City was led out of class in handcuffs after drawing on a desk with a marker. She wrote “Lex was here 2/1/10” and “I love my friends Abby and Faith.” That was enough to earn the 12-year-old girl a several hour trip to a police station complete with a ride in a squad car. The New York Civil Liberties Union filed a lawsuit last month over at least 20 similar arrests by school safety officers. Despite the ridiculous nature of the arrest, the girl will have to complete eight hours of community service, a book report and an essay on what she learned from this experience.

McDonalds McMarketing department has come up with a ridiculous new sandwich to help it in the Italian market. They’ve just rolled out the McItaly burger. It’s made entirely of Italian products and comes with your choice of being topped with artichoke spread and asiago cheese or lettuce, onion, and smoked pancetta. The idea being the McItaly sandwich is that it will receive a government approved Made in Italy tag and contains the colours of the Italian flag. The only problem is that the reviews are already negative. One traveller to Italy said it was like McDonalds “couldn’t be bothered to make the effort.”

Sex, drugs, and rock & roll are synonymous but that’s more for the rockers. Fans at a Motley Crue concert in Winnipeg proved that the adage applied to them as well. A couple were thrown out of the MTS Centre after being discovered engaged in “lewd sexual acts for several minutes.” The couple’s little show at the big show was filmed and uploaded to YouTube. They were thrown out of the building by the arena’s security but were spared a police investigation. I guess they are students over at Lion’s Den U because they follow their motto of “Chug a beer and have sex with everybody.”

And now your “Only in Canada” story of the day. A restaurant in Toronto has decided to set itself apart from the competition by actually encouraging sex in its washrooms on Valentine’s weekend. This is a change from their former implied encouragement of sex in the washrooms which was accomplished with a copy of the Kama Sutra in the washroom. As for health concerns, the Toronto Public Health authority can’t be bothered to care as long as the washrooms are kept clean. The only condition to having sex in the washroom: Customers must supply their own condoms.

A while back, we mentioned a woman who posted on Craigslist that she was looking for World Series and was willing to be “creative” with her payment. Well, the cops decided to ring her up on prostitution charges. So what is her lawyer’s idea of a defence? He said he client wasn’t “in the business of prostitution” because “you can be a slut; that’s not illegal.” While it’s a unique legal argument, it doesn’t quite stand up to The Chewbacca Defence and was denied by the judge. What did the woman think of her defence? Well, she had other business to attend to. According to Facebook, she was vacationing in Mexico.

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