Another week means it’s time for more of the news that’s not fit for print. It’s the Not News of the Week.

One of the rising stars of Twitter is not a popular Hollywood star or media personality. Instead, it’s not someone who is already a star but a 73-year-old grandfather whose quotes are being Tweeted by his son. The grumpy old man’s views on everything from actresses to voicemail to his grandkid are tweeted by his live-in son. He’s rocketed over 50,000 followers and is still gaining more from word of mouth about him rather than the shameless plugging that celebrities engage in. You can follow him @shitmydadsays where you can find gems such as “Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.”

Patrick Stewart might be a good actor though it might be because he’s completely insane. Stewart claims to have seen a ghost while performing Waiting for Godot with Sir Ian McKellen. Apparently, Stewart performance was off during the first act of the play and told Sir Ian it was because he saw a ghost. Based on the description, stage hands believe Stewart saw the ghost of John Baldwin Buckstone who was an actor and manager of the Theatre Royal Haymarket in the 19th century. However, no one considers the appearance of Buckstone to be a bad thing. Legend has it that Buckstone will only appear to salute good theatre.

A two-year-old girl on holiday in Norfolk, England, won a singing contest by beating 19 other kids that were ages 7 to 15. The girl’s grandmother entered her into the contest after convincing organizers to bend the rules to let her into the competition. She progressed from the starting field of 20 through the final six to the final two where she wowed the crowd with a version of DJ Otzi’s “Hey Baby.” The girl’s grandmother was quoted as saying “We were all crying because she was fantastic.” So fantastic in fact that the Daily Telegraph has already dubbed her the next Kylie Minogue. As long as we don’t have to do the locomotion again…

Most beauty pageants see their contestants judged based on how they look in swimsuits and what non-talent they perform in the talent competition. However, Hungary isn’t a country that sticks to the status quo. Their idea of a beauty pageant involves judging entrants based on the quality of their breast implants, facelifts and liposuction in the Miss Plastic Surgery pageant. Competitors must be women between 18 and 30 years old who have had at least one cosmetic surgery procedure under a general or local anaesthetic. My only question is that given the fact that it seems like more than half of American women have undergone a procedure of some sort, how couldn’t the Americans come up with a Miss Plastic Surgery contest first?

The most illusive creature in the world has been found… On Google Earth. If you go to coordinates Latitude 57°12’52.13″N and Longitude 4°34’14.16″W you will find an image of what appears to be the Loch Ness Monster. Monster researchers say that these images should prompt further study into finding the monster while Google says that they will send a Street View camera to Loch Ness to investigate themselves. However, there are still some non-believers that contest the monster’s existence. Some suggest that the picture is of a boat that regularly tours the lock. Also, earlier this year, a veteran monster hunter stated his belief that climate change might have killed the monster. I guess Fox Mulder is the only one left on the planet who still wants to believe.