After all the arguing, insults, and general lunacy of last week, we’re set for another edition of Monday Night Raw. After the NBA announced the schedule for the Western Conference Finals, the WWE were thrown out of Denver’s Pepsi Center. Without a home for a couple of days, it was the home of the L.A. Lakers that stepped up to save the WWE. So tonight Raw comes to us live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles and we have all the action here as it happens.
Mr. McMahon has been going after Stan Kroenke all week about being a bad business man. Tonight, the two will meet face-to-face in the ring and who knows what happens when Vince gets within arm’s reach of a man he refers to as a “Chicken Nugget”. Meanwhile, the main event of the evening is a five-on-five tag match that will bit the “Lakers” against the “Nuggets”. Suiting up for the Nuggets are Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, The Miz, and The Big Show. Playing for the Lakers are MVP, John Cena, Batista, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and a fifth man to be named later. There’s also a Women’s Title match on the card for tonight’s Raw.
Please note, all updates will be about 15 minutes behind the U.S. telecast of Raw because Raw is shown on a 15 minute delay in Canada.
9:00 PM – Horse Racing Night from Mohawk on The Score wraps up which means it’s time for Countdown to Raw. Amazingly Greg Sansone is using the actual WWE Raw graphics as opposed to The Score’s.
9:06 PM – Countdown show starts with the beginning of last week’s Raw with Flair and Orton. After the commercial break, it’ll be the main event handicap match. Sansone is so excited that he can hardly contain himself.
9:09 PM –SI’s Arash Markazi is at the Staples Center live. He’s tweeting from there so I’ll drop in some info from him.
9:14 PM –The countdown ends with a montage of Vince and the WWE all over ESPN and the other sports media. Looks like this will be an… interesting show. Sansone ends hyping the main event and McMahon-Kroenke.
9:15 PM – We open up with a tribute to the US troops in honour of Memorial Day. As Raw goes to air Denver is up by three.
9:19 PM –Michael Cole and Jim Ross are the broadcast crew tonight. They hype Ric Flair confronting Randy Orton. The ring announcer intros out Stan Kroenke impersonator. I can’t believe they open the show with this. They’re running the same video promo that the score ran about the “Denver Debacle.” I knew that the video was too good to be produced by the score.
9:21 PM –Kroenke comes out to “Hail to the Chief.” He shook hands with “Jack Nicholson,” “David Stern,” and “Jerry Buss”. Gets on the mic with cheap heat. He doesn’t care that he’s screwing the fans and that his team will soon be the world champions. He gets a “Denver sucks” chant for his troubles.
9:23 PM – Only one man walks that way. Vince McMahon struts down to the ring.
9:27 PM – Vince announces the creation of the XBA. But he says it’ll be a total failure… Because he’ll have Kroenke run it. Then mentions that Stan’s full name is “E. Stan Kroenke”. The “E” stands for “Enus”. Then he goes for toilet humour. Kroenke apperently has “Enus envy”.
9:28 PM – McMahon pushes Kroenke out of the ring with one hand to end the segment. But then The Miz comes out on the mic. Miz tries for the LA cheap pop. Then he pulls off his shirt and reveals a LeBron jersey.
9:33 PM – Cena interrupts and now everyone shows up. Rhodes, DiBiase, Batista, Big Show. Now Jerry Lawler in yellow and purple. Show left alone in the ring with Bastisa and Cena and gets a double clothesline for his trouble. JR wonders about the unknown fifth man later in the show. Women’s title match next.
9:36 PM – Sorry, it’s the Divas’ Championship. Kelly Kelly vs. the Champion Maryse.
9:38 PM – Maryse is billed from Montreal. Based on the WWE Rewind coming back from commercial she’s supposed to be one of the bad guys but I’m pulling for the fellow Canuck.
9:40 PM – Andrew Bucholtz pointed out that Maryse is actually from “Montreal, Ontario, Canada”. I wish I was covering this on CoverItLive because then I’d get him to help me with this. The match starts with a pose off. Kelly hits a few impressive handspring back elbows.
9:42 PM – Kelly wins via DQ. They brawled to the outside where Maryse pushed her over the announce table. What a BS finish. Kelly comes in after the bell and hits a forearm smash. This one won’t end here. And we go to commercial.
9:47 PM – “Jack Nicholson” is back stage with Golddust (I’ve heard of him) and Hornswoggle (a leprachaun). They do the whole “You can’t handle the truth” bit. Jack leaves the scene with twins. We go to a recap of Orton and Flair last week on Raw.
9:49 PM – Flair and Batista are talking in the back about Flair calling out Orton. According to Arash Markazi, this was taped in the visitors’ locker room where the Nuggets will be on Wednesday. Naitch will be calling out Orton in a few minutes… And back to commercial.
9:55 PM – Did you know that Raw was the most watched show on cable last Monday? It beat its nearest competition by over 1 million viewers. Next, a triple threat match for a shot at the US Title next week. It’s Matt Hardy vs. William Regal vs. Kofi Kingston.
9:57 PM – I should have explained that, even though it’s three men, it is one fall to a finish. The first man to score a pinfall or submission wins the match. Hardy to outside leaving Kingston and Regal one-on-one inside the ring.
9:59 PM – Kingston and Regal take each other out. Hardy comes in. He covers both and gets a pair of two counts. Hardy takes control of Kingston. MVP, the US Champion, comes to ringside as we go to break.
10:00 PM – Batista reminds you not to try this at home. Denver by 11 midway through the second. I still wish I decided to use CoverItLive tonight. Back to action. Regal has Kofi in a Cobra Clutch.
10:05 PM – Hardy back in control. Cover, 2, and NO! Broken up by Regal. Regal with what looks like a single chicken wing. Kofi power out. “Kofi” chants. Hardy takes down Kingston. Regal takes out Hardy by going after his hand. Kingston hits a top rope dropkick. He has a ton of elevation his vertical leap.
10:07 PM – Hardy takes out both men with side effects. Then tries the Twist of Fate on Regal be he counters out. Regal catches a spinning toe kick from Kingston but Hardy breaks up the cover. Kingston ducks a clothesline and then hits the kick again for the win. Kingston and MVP have a friendly little staredown over the title. They’ll meet next week.
10:08 PM – Flair is walking through the back. He’ll confront Orton after the break.
10:13 PM – Snickers reminds you to put your hunger in a “nougaplex”. WOO! Flair is strutting to ring on the longest running weekly episodic television show in history.
10:15 PM – Naitch starts out by pointing out that Orton “sucka punched me and then you had your way with me.” He then calls out Orton insisting that he punches him man-to-man. I hear voices and Orton appears at the top of the ramp.
10:17 PM – Orton comes out and says he lowered himself to punching a 60-year-old man. He says that it’s over for Ric. He was only in Evolution because HHH felt sorry for Flair. Naitch slaps Orton and Orton starts the beatdown. Batista comes out for the save.
10:21 PM – Orton says that after he beats Batista at Extreme Rules it’ll be all over for Batista too. Mr. Kennedy then appears on stage, interrupting Orton. Kennedy has one of those old school mics that drops from the ceiling. He says he will soon be the WWE champion. He is also in the main event as the fifth member of the Lakers. He closes by announcing his name like a boxng announcer as “Mister Kennedy… … … Kennedy!” I’m guessing he just came back from a long layoff. Back to commercial.
10:26 PM – The NBA and The Score have decided to sync their commercials. I know that Sportscentre is going on the road and the NBA is where amazing happens. But The Score’s ticker says it’s 52-47 Nuggets. Will the Nuggets win tonight’s main event too? We’re back from commercial. Michael Clarke Duncan is back and he’s a Cena fan. We also get a look at Vince’s star on the walk of fame.
10:28 PM – Santino Marella is teaming with Mickie James in an intergender tag match. The winning team picks the stipulation in a match between Vickie Guerrero for the title of Miss Wrestlemania. The other team is Chavo Guerrero and Beth Phoenix.
10:31 PM – Santino and Chavo start. Chavo dominates the early going. Beth Phoenix gets in on the action with a choke while the ref wasn’t looking. Mickie and Beth in now. Santino provides a distraction which allows Mickie to get a crucifix for a pin. Vickie Guerrero comes out on stage and gets booed out of the building. Santino chooses a “Hog Pen Match” as the stipulation for Santina’s match against Vickie. That hasn’t been seen since the Godwins were a tag team in the late 90’s. It’s too bad that we don’t get to see Mickie James for more than a couple minutes tonight.
10:33 PM – In the back, Big Show is talking with The Miz. We’re going to commercial break. Don’t forget that there’s a tag match tonight.
10:37 PM – I can’t believe it but Sony brought back the robotic voice to say “Playstation” in their promos. Jack Korpella is giving the WWE produced “WWE Update”. If they can do this specifically for Canada, why can’t they do the 15 minute Countdown to Raw show. Back from commercial.
10:39 PM – They’re recapping the night so far. Included: McMahon’s XBA and Kroenke getting pushed out of the ring. Meanwhile from Arash Markazi “The WWE has a kiss cam too but lets just say that’s its not as, um, how do I say this nicely, good as the ones at Lakers games.” Golddust is teaming with Hornswoggle for a tag match. Primo and Carlito are at ringside for guest commentary.
10:43 PM – Brian Kendrick and Festus will be the other team. Festus is wearing a Clippers jersey. Festus’ gimmick appears to be someone who is… for lack of better terminology, mentally challenged. He then turns into a fighting machine when the bell rings. Kendrick had to figuratively hold his hand to do anything.
10:46 PM – Kendrick tries to get the tag to Festus. Festus refuses and gets slapped for his troubles. He turns around into a Hornswoggle frog splash and a Final Cut from Golddust. The bell rings and Festus is back out of it. Kendrick back to the ring with a chair. Primo rings the bell just before Festus gets hit turning Fetus into a monster than runs Kendrick into the back. Commercial, followed by the main event.
10:47 PM – Before Lakers-Nuggets WWE style, an update: With 8:00 to go, it’s Denver up 60-53.
10:49 PM – We’re back with a helicopter shot over downtown L.A. panning into the Staples Center. They’re hyping the card for their next pay-per-view Extreme Rules. Every match has a different stipulation or gimmick.
10:53 PM – Lawrence Tanter is announcing the participants in the main event. The linup: #1 PG The Miz, #6 SG Cody Rhodes, #4 SF Ted DiBiase, #99 C The Big Show, and #15 PF Randy Orton. Yes, they announced them as if they were a basketball team. The WWE is really milking this. By the way, they are all wearing jerseys with their names and numbers on them.
10:55 PM – Off to commercial again. The Lakers are next. I don’t know if this will be on air but another live report from Arash Markazi: “Michale Clarke Duncan is talking trash to Ted DiBiase. The Big Show’s No. 99 jersey look like its about to snap. WWE Champion Randy Orton is wearing Melo’s No. 15 and calls the Lakers losers.”
10:57 PM – There’s a WWE pay-per-view coming to Montreal this year. Meanwhile, cheap plug, since you’re here you can subscribe to our newsfeed.
11:00 PM – Now, get on your feet for your Los Angeles Lakers. The starting lineup: #24 PG MVP, #48 SG Jerry “The King” Lawler, #4 SF Mr. Kennedy… Kennedy, #54 PF John Cena and #7 C Batista. Kennedy is from Green Bay, hence the significance of the #4 according to Jim Ross. Markazi points out that Cena is wearing Kwame Brown’s old number.
11:05 PM – This is still a normal tag match. Each team will have only on legal man. Lawler and Rhodes start. Both starting at SG. Batista tags in and powering down Rhodes. All men wrestling in their jerseys. MVP in. #24 getting MVP chants. Not exactly unique at the Staples Center. Denver with its first tag. In comes DiBiase. Blind tag, in comes Orton. Orton hits the inverted backbreaker. MVP taken down by Show with the ref’s back turned. Orton gets 2 on the cover. Commercial break and I can catch my breath.
11:07 PM – Denver is dominating all around. Controlling the tag match on Raw and leading the basketball game by 11. And we’re back. DiBiase with a chinlock on MVP.
11:09 PM – MVP counters out and almost gets the hot tag. The Miz gets the tag for Denver and stops MVP. MVP takes down Miz and tags Kennedy. Kennedy lighting up The Miz with all sorts of offense including a roundhouse kick.
11:10 PM – Kennedy taken out while the ref wasn’t looking by Rhodes & DiBiase. Orton in and throwing punches. Orton in control. Can’t make out the chants but they could be for Cena. Big Show in.
11:12 PM – Show covers for 2. None of the Lakers jump in to break it up. Good teamwork boys. Just like the real thing. (I don’t watch basketball so I’m likely wrong.) Rhodes in then a quick tag to DiBiase. Cover, 2, and NO! Miz in.
11:14 PM – “Let’s go Lakers” chant as DiBiase tags back in. Cover, 2, NO! Front face lock. “Let’s go Lakers” chant again. MCD is apparently leading the chants according to Arash Markazi. Orton tags in.
11:16 PM – Boot to the midsection. Cover, 2, NO! Cover, 2, and NO! Orton with a front facelock. Dropkick. Cover and Batista breaks up the pin. Kennedy looking for a tag. Orton stops him. Back suplex from Kennedy. Rhodes in for Denver. Cena in for LA.
11:18 PM – MVP tagged in. Playmaker. 1, 2, 3! MVP wins it for the Lakers. All hell breaks loose. MVP takes a Cobra Clutch slam from DiBiase. Ted takes a Reverse STO facebuster from Kennedy. Orton hits the RKO on Kennedy. Batista goes for a power bomb on Orton but Big Show makes the save. Batista and Cena with a double suplex on Show. The Lakers clear the ring and pose to close the show.
And that ends the live blog. With the Nuggets controlling most of the basketball game and all the publicity from the past week, I wonder if Raw will have more viewers than the game.
Anyway, it was a fun night of action. Some of it was a little corny (specifically all the impersonaters) but it wasn’t too bad. Some of the matches left something to be desired. The intergender match could have been better and so could have the Golddust tag match. I think there was room to stretch the main event another five minutes. If I had to give the whole show a rating, I’d call it a 7/10. I was entertained which is what it all comes down to in the end.
Thanks for joining us. One more cheap plug: Rich Christensen on The Lowdown radio show tomorrow night at 6:30 PM. For more info, click here.