The Lowdown Liveblogs The Oscars!

Tonight is the big night in the world of entertainment but we all know how the Oscars is going to be a huge snorefest. To liven things up, I’ll be posting some random tidbits during this uber long award show.

Let’s kick things off with the Razzie winners! Looks like Mike Myers is the big winner this year! The Love Guru was a piece of crap movie. Sorry Mike, you’re no longer a comic genius. Another big winner is Paris Hilton for worst actress! Wait a second. Have the critics not seen One Night in Paris???

Speaking of Razzies, it seems like the new Street Fighter movie will be a contender next year. Poor Michael Clarke Duncan… why is he being casted in crapfests like these? He deserves better. Variety

8:30 pm: Hugh Jackman off to a decent start. I guess the guy can be funny. The dude has earned his fees. He did manage to make a plug for the big budget flop ‘Australia’… even though it was in a self-depreciating way.

8:32 pm: Nice joke about the recession. I guess he will probably end up filming ‘New Zealand’ by the end of this year.

8:35 pm: Anne Hathaway is showcasing her singing talent. She isn’t bad at all! I’m pleasantly surprised. I guess I should have watched Ella Enchanted years ago. I would also like to point out that Anne Hathaway is gorgeous! (I don’t care how ridiculous her dress is).

8:39 pm: While Hugh Jackman is busy filling time by introducing everyone in the Kodak Theatre… let’s check out the leaked award winners! zap2it

8:42 pm: *yawn* Clip montage of past winners… wake me up when something exciting happens.

8:46 pm: Tilda Swinton still scares me.

8:48 pm: Penelope Cruz is the Best Supporting Actress winner. Congrats! Well I guess that leaked winner’s list is totally fake. Dammit zap2it. Foiled already!

8:49 pm: Crap! I should have taken Spanish in high school!

8:50 pm: Is it just me or did her speech seem like it was longer than 45 seconds?

8:55 pm: Tina Fey is HOT! I think I’m going to watch 30 Rock this Thursday

8:57 pm: I like how the text from the screenplay pops in and out of the scenes. It’s a neat way of presenting the clips.

8:57 pm: Uh oh the ‘Milk’ dominance begins. Stephen Colbert is celebrating somewhere.

9:01 pm: On second thought, the Slumdog dominance begins now. Simon Beafoy just won Best Adapted Screenplay for Slumdog Millionaire.

9:04 pm: Time to present the Best Animated Film. You’re not alone Jack Black. I would bet all of the money on Pixar too.

9:07 pm: No surprise here. Wall-E wins the Oscar. It’s a really good animated flick. You guys should go check it out.

9:09 pm: La Maison en Petites Cubes wins the Oscar for Best Animated Short. Gotta love the broken English courtesy of Mr. Kato. Did the dude say something about drinking Sanka???

9:18 pm: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button snags best Art Direction. That’s probably the only award it will win tonight.

9:19 pm: Since I’m avoiding Sarah Jessica Parker on the screen, I just noticed how nice the stage design for the Oscars this year.

9:20 pm: I love how Daniel Craig is fumbling his lines. Very smooth Mr. Bond. Very smooth.

9:22 pm: The Dutchess wins Best Costume Design. Well once again a period piece wins the Oscar for Best Costume Design.

9:24 pm: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button gets Best Makeup. Wait. Wasn’t it all done with CGI? That’s where most of the $150M budget went! Oops. I think I was thinking about Brad Pitt’s salary.

9:25 pm: Robert Pattinson appears on screen. I can hear the fangirls scream from miles away. What is he doing at the Oscars anyway? Shouldn’t he be busy filming New Moon? You know, the sequel to that crapfest known as Twilight. Speaking of the Twilight franchise, apparently Summit is really desperate to make money by speeding up the production for the third film. zap2it

9:27 pm: A totally useless montage of “romance” in 2008 films. Newsflash: Valentine’s Day was last week!

9:32 pm: Gratuitous amounts of eye candy… one of the few reasons why I watch the Oscars. Natalie Portman is smokin’ hot! Ben Stiller is trying to steal the limelight from Natalie with the Joaquin Phoenix jokes. Clearly it’s not working.

9:33 pm: Whenever you’re bored during this Oscar’s broadcast, check out Natalie’s Rap (it’s also featured on The Lonely Island’s album Incredibad). Youtube

9:35 pm: Slumdog Millionaire gets Best Cinematography. Slumdog Oscar Count: 2

9:38 pm: What in the world is Jessica Biel wearing?

9:42 pm: Oscars are trying to be hip like the MTV Movie Awards by throwing in comedy shorts. Anyway, it’s pretty good. Props to Judd Apatow though. He managed to cover up a boring montage clip with something funny by throwing James Franco and Seth Rogan into it.

9:43 pm: Best question of the night: “Who’s a better actor? Ronald Reagan or Barack Obama?”

9:46 pm: Ricky Gervais is right! The holocaust movie gets the Oscar! Toyland wins the Oscar for Live Action Short Film.

9:54 pm: While Beyonce and Hugh Jackman are ruining classics here.. this would be a good time to check out Natalie’s Rap.

9:56 pm: Holy effing Batman! It’s Zac Efron and Vaneesa Hudgens!

9:57 pm: Thanks Hugh! I know the musicals are back. Now I would also like to point out that none of these so-called musicals got nominated for Best Song or Best Score this year.

10:02 pm: I think I lost count of how many montages they have played tonight.

10:03 pm: It can’t be that cold in California! Why is Philip Seymour Hoffman wearing a tuque?

10:05 pm: Oh look it’s Cuba Gooding Jr.! Nice to see him make some self-depreciating jokes. Seriously when was the last time you saw him in a movie? Whoever wants to see Robert Downey Jr. as Shaft, say “Aie!”

10:08 pm: Robert Downey Jr. has been snubbed. Seriously, a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude really deserves an Oscar.

10:09 pm: No surprise here. Heath Ledger wins the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Of course he is a good actor, so he does deserve it. This reminds me. A good actor also needs a good director in order to shine in a film. Now where’s that Best Director nomination for Christopher Nolan? He actually made a comic book film with cred!

10:12 pm: Time for a boring stretch of the Oscars. Well in the meantime, you can read about a possible robot invasion in the near future. Olivia Munn

10:13 pm: Another clip show featuring documentaries in 2008. Bill Maher appears on screen to plug own film before announcing the Best Doc nominees.

10:15 pm: Man on Wire wins Best Documentary

10:17 pm: Best Documentary Short goes to Smile Pinki

10:23 pm: Yes! An action film montage! Finally something awesome to watch. This reminds me, why didn’t Transformers win the Oscar for Best Visual Effects two years ago?

10:27 pm: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins the Oscar for Best Visual Effects. Ok… so that huge chuck of the budget did pay off.

10:28 pm: Will Smith screws up his line, but he’s still likeable. Heck he’s still entertaining. Why is he not hosting this?

10:29 pm: The Dark Knight gets the award for Sound Editing. In other words, the movie with the biggest boom wins.

10:32 pm: The Slumdog dominance continues! They just got the award for Sound Mixing. Ok fine… I guess the movie with the biggest boom doesn’t necessarily sweep all the sound awards.

10:34 pm: “Ok they still have me here. I guess Hugh is napping” Will Smith says. Eh, I’m not complaining.

10:35 pm: Slumdog Millionaire wins the Oscar for Film Editing.

10:42 pm: Great another clip show. Well I guess you can take this time to read about this finger remote that will one day turn us into those fatties in the movie Wall-E. Olivia Munn

10:44 pm: Apparently the Oscars love Jerry Lewis

10:46 pm: Commercial break. There’s an ad for an upcoming show called Southland. It’s nice to see Benjamin McKenzie back in front of the small screen again. Too bad I’ll always see him as Ryan Atwood from The OC. I miss that show! =(

10:52 pm: Musical montage!

10:54 pm: Whoa! Alicia Keys presents with Zac Efron?!?! She definitely outclasses him in every single way. Alicia Keys announces the nominees while Zac Efron is just staring blankly at the camera. Yup. That’s all you really need to do Zac. Stand there and look pretty for all those fangirls out there. They’ll love you no matter what. Is it just me or does Alicia sound extra sexy when she rolls those “R”‘s?

10:54 pm: Best Original Score goes to Slumdog Millionaire. Ok, this better be paving the way to a Best Picture win.

10:56 pm: Time for the medley of the Best Song nominees. Hey look it’s John Legend performing! This performance still isn’t as good as his Nutmeg song from A Colbert Christmas. That one was classic. Youtube

11:01 pm: They really cut down the music performances this year. Just one single medley and that’s it. There’s also a lack of nominees this year. “Jai Ho” from Slumdog Millionaire gets the Oscar. I like the song. It’s quite catchy.

11:02 pm: I think Bruce Springsteen got snubbed. He should have gotten a nomination for The Wrestler. Speaking of The Wrestler… where’s the nod for Darren Aronofsky? I guess the Academy didn’t like it when he gave the finger to Mickey Rourke during the Globes.

11:06 pm: Oh look it’s Qui Gon!!!

11:07 pm: Departures win the Oscar for Best Foreign Film. I was positive that Waltz with Bashir was gonna win this one!

11:13 pm: Time for the tribute to those that passed away in the previous year. It’s nice to see a greater focus on Paul Newman at the end of the clip. It’s also nice to have a live singer do this montage.

11:20 pm: Danny Boyle for Best Director. Well deserved. He is a great filmmaker.

11:28 pm: Well that’s quite the hosting gig. When was the last time Hugh Jackman appeared on stage?

11:32 pm: While I really wanted Anne Hathaway to win the Oscar… it’s also nice to see Kate Winslet get the Best Actress award. I guess after all those nominations.. it’s about damn time! I’m positive her speech is longer than 45 seconds! Another quote worthy moment when she said “Sorry Meryl, you just have to suck it up”. Oh Kate managed to locate her dad after he whistles. Who knew this was just as effective as a GPS system?

11:43 pm: Sean Penn gets the Best Actor Oscar. It was a tight race between Mickey Rouke and Sean Penn, but second chances can only go so far I suppose. I guess the Academy really doesn’t like The Wrestler. I was rooting for Mickey Rourke, but Sean Penn is also a fine actor. He deserves the award.

11:44 pm: Well Sean Penn goes on stage briefly but he manages to snag a quote of the day right here – “I know how hard I make it to appreciate me so often”.

11:53 pm: Even without any nominations for acting, Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Picture. The Slumdog dominance is complete. What a triumphant night for those involved with the film.

11:55 pm: Whoa! Hugh Jackman finally makes another appearance! What a great job hosting eh?

11:56 pm: Time for a montage of upcoming films this year. YAY for cheap plugs!

12:00 am: Well that’s a wrap! Thank you to all those that dropped by to read my random ramblings. Have a great night everyone!!!

Hmmm… is it just me or was the Transformers sequel missing from that upcoming films montage?

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