I’m back from my weekend in the big city. I’ll have a Humanoids column before my return visit in a few weeks. For now, here’s Blake Lively.

We’re still waiting for something of substance to happen in the NFL CBA negotiations. However, Bill Simmons boils down the owners’ position to a simple analogy. (ESPN)

With Charlie Sheen getting fired from Two and a Half Men, you’d think he could be out of work for a while. However, HDnet’s Mark Cuban has already sent him a job offer. (With Leather)

And Sheen also has a job offer for you. You can be Charlie Sheen’s #winning intern this summer. Winning that job would be winning. (Internships)

After the jump, more Sheen winning/not winning, stages of being drunk, and Tom Brady dancing.

So what exactly would Charlie Sheen’s social media intern actually do? The BBC looks at what other celeb interns actually do. (BBC)

Well, with Sheen off Two and a Half Men, the whole show can’t be too far behind. That begs the question: Where is the grassroots campaign to save Sheen’s job and the show? (Deadspin)

And capping off the Charlie Sheen coverage for now, here’s the best Charlie Sheen blog I’ve found. (Adonis DNA)

Looking to buy a Leafs jersey to announce your return to the bandwagon? Here’s a flowchart to decide which jersey is right for you. (Maple Leafs Hotstove)

One of the odder stories of the NBA season is finding out that members of the Miami Heat cried after losing to Chicago on Sunday. The question is who were criers. Jason Whitlock examines the most likely suppliers of water works. (Fox Sports)

Wonder how the Heat lost to Chicago? They likely didn’t get a good enough of a nap. That’s the new way to perform optimally in the NBA. (New York Times)

New on NBC, it’s America’s Next Great Restaurant. Here’s the best review of this show that I’ve read. (Grub Street)

What happens if you’re a special honoree at a basketball game and you tell off the ref in an intellectual way? You get thrown out of the game. (Off The Bench)

Here’s something that I should have read before this past weekend. It’s the stages of drunkenness and what bad decisions you make as you drink. (The Campus Socialite) Definitely read this one too late.

So after reading that, anyone want to venture a guess at which stage former NHLer Donald Brashear was in this video? (Busted Coverage)

The space shuttle program ended this week with the return of the Space Shuttle Discovery. For their last day in orbit, they got a special wake-up call from Captain Kirk. (Daily Telegraph)

Here’s the most compelling video you’ll see all day. It’s 9/11 viewed from an NYPD helicopter. (Gawker)

This video is three months old but it’s still great. It’s Jimmy McMillan starting the Charlie Sheen is Too Damn High Party.

And here’s Tom Brady dancing at Carnival in Rio. It starts at 0:22 and isn’t pretty.