The National Hockey League is gearing up for another season. Last year saw record TV ratings after an epic Canada vs. USA Olympic gold medal hockey game brought the sport closer to mainstream. Following up on our popular 2009-10 NHL preview, we once again preview the 2010-11 by comparing every team in the league to a song.

Anaheim Ducks
Song: McFly – I’ll Be OK
For the first time since the lockout, the Anaheim Ducks missed the playoffs last season. Ever since the Stanley Cup run back in ’07, the team had been on a steady decline as the roster was pushing the salary cap and there was no space to maintain that championship team. (Ask Stan Bowman how that feels.) Things are starting to look up for the team in the pond once again. The Ducks got ridiculously lucky at the draft back in July as they nabbed great prospects Cam Fowler (at #12 despite being projected to go much higher) and Emerson Etem (at #29, also was projected to go much higher) in the first round. With captain Scott Niedermeyer leaving for retirement, the Ducks used the opportunity to bolster their weak defense with the addition of Toni Lydman, Andy Sutton and Paul Mara. Once again the team looks to be a competitor in the weakening Western Conference.

Atlanta Thrashers
Song: Joshua Radin – Brand New Day
If you’re going to a Thrashers game this season, you may want to buy a program. In this new salary cap era, this team has turned over more roster spots than you could pull off in a video game. Gone are big names like Ilya Kovalchuk, Colby Armstrong, Johan Hedberg, Pavel Kubina, Max Afinogenov and Todd White. Coming in are Chris Mason, Nigel Dawes and a quarter of the roster of the Stanley Cup champion Chicago Blackhawks (Dustin Byfuglien, Ben Eager, Brent Sopel, Andrew Ladd and Akim Aliu). The star power isn’t really there in Atlanta anymore (not that they really had big players, just big contracts) but they have depth and character. I’d say this team did a better job of being a Brian Burke team than the Leafs. They should be a top ten contender in the East at season’s end.

Boston Bruins
Song: The Tragically Hip – Fireworks
If there’s a goal that everyone remembers, it was back in old ’72. No, not that goal. I’m talking about the 1972 Stanley Cup final. That was the last time the Bruins won a Stanley Cup. We hear all about the Leafs and their 43 (soon to be 44) Cup-less drought but the B’s have been waiting just five fewer years. This team has been gearing up to have some fireworks of the scoring variety this year. Last year, scoring was their Achilles’ heel but the additions of Nathan Horton and Tyler Seguin should mean that a healthy Bruins squad will be an all-around dangerous opponent. That’s assuming that dropping four straight to Philly en route to an embarrassing second round elimination in last year’s playoffs doesn’t destroy them psychologically.

Buffalo Sabres
Song: Queen – Somebody to Love
I’m pretty sure you could make this the Sabres’ anthem. Apart from Ryan Miller, has any big name (or even mid-level) free agent decided to re-sign in Buffalo? The Sabres lost defenseman Tony Lydman this off-season. Add that to a list that includes Chris Drury, Danny Briere, Henrik Tallinder, Dainius Zubrus and Max Afinogenov since the lockout. If you’re a Sabres fan, you have to be wondering if it’s possible for your team to hold onto players long enough to build a contender because you can’t even buy a contender. Hell, I think a $200 million deal wouldn’t have been enough to convince Ilya Kovalchuk to leave Jersey for northern New York.

Calgary Flames
Song: Sheryl Crow – My Favourite Mistake
A team in disarray in Calgary? Who would’ve thunk it? So what does a team with minimal offense do? They sign someone that provides minimal offense. Welcome back, Olli Jokinen. Now, Olli wasn’t a bad player in a Flames uniform. He had about 0.75 points per page playing with Iggy… Against a career average over 1 PPG playing with nobodies. Bringing him back will do nothing but eat cap space because Jokinen won’t be the same gamebreaker he was with Florida.

Carolina Hurricanes
Song: Sex Bob-Omb – Garbage Truck
The Hurricanes made little improvement to their squad which spent a good portion of the season as a bottom feeder in the Eastern Conference along with the Leafs. Could they suddenly bounce back and perform this season? Sure, they should have Cam Ward for the full season. It just doesn’t seem all that likely as the team will probably continue to sit in the dumps of the Eastern Conference this season.

Chicago Blackhawks
Song: Green Day – Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Remember when they looked like a dynasty in the making? Then the whole salary cap thing happened. Marian Hossa (a second line player now), Brian Campbell (now a 3/4 defenseman) and Chris Huet (backup at best) happened. Their massive salaries (relative to their current roles) have forced the Hawks to dump all those quality depth players that helped them to the Cup. Gone are Niemi, Versteeg, Byfuglien, Ladd, and more. But don’t worry because Marty Turco is here to rescue you. Well, maybe I should say don’t worry if you run into the Hawks in the playoffs. There’s still some good players in Chicago but a repeat’s not in the cards anymore.

Colorado Avalanche
Song: Chicago – Baby, What A Big Surprise
I don’t think anyone can deny that the Avs one-year turnaround from a third overall draft spot to being a legitimate threat to eliminate San Jose in the playoff was a surprise. The team came into last season with a new general manager and coach. Joe Sakic retired before the season which should have ripped the heart right out of this team. Milan Hejduk was out for a third of the year with a knee injury (if memory serves). What we got was the return of Paul Statsny and emergence of Matt Duchesne. And there was that Craig Anderson dude that stood on his head. I think this team lives and dies with Anderson this year. We’ve seen before that goalies can make all the difference.

Columbus Blue Jackets
Song: Dashboard Confessional – Everybody Learns From Disaster
After a moderately successful 2008-09 season, the Blue Jackets returned to form and missed the playoffs once again. Goalie Steve Mason was on fire during his rookie year as he helped the team secure their first playoff spot, but came crashing down the following year. The centre of attention for the Blue Jackets is not whether they can make the playoffs, it’s whether their 2008 first round pick Nikita Filatov will stay with the team or flee back to Russia after a handful of games like last season. Well, the team isn’t primed to be a playoff contender but as long as it doesn’t fall into in-fighting they won’t crash and burn like… say the Dallas Stars for example…

Dallas Stars
Song: U2 – With or Without You
Two of the best players in Dallas Stars history burnt out this summer (or some thematic bullshit like that). Mike Modano was tossed out on his ass and is playing out his career in his hometown of Detroit. Marty Turco was allowed to leave through free agency and became a dollar store goalie for the Blackhawks. The Stars weren’t going to win the Stanley Cup with them in the lineup and they aren’t really doing much to fill the holes without them on the roster. General manager Joe Niewendyk took the reigns of a team without much of a direction and after a year under his tenure, they’re in prime shape to battle for 15th in the conference.

Detroit Red Wings
Song: Europe – The Final Countdown
I think that this season is likely to be the final of some legends and hall of famers. Nicklas Lidstrom signed a one-year deal for one last shot at the Cup. Mike Modano couldn’t let go of the game after the Stars let him go so he’s coming home to Detroit for one last season. Kris Draper and Chris Osgood are in the final year of each of their contracts and, with nothing left to prove, seem likely candidates to retire. This season really does seem like a final countdown for these four. And advocates of more North Americans in the NHL would probably find some irony in the face that the band is called Europe. When people talk about the influx of European players into the game, the Wings usually come up as one of the prime examples of teams with a lot of non-domestic players.

Edmonton Oilers
Song: Hilary Duff – My Generation
Hilary Duff’s cover of The Who’s classic is easily one of the worst cover songs in the history of the world. It’s kind of like this latest crop of Edmonton Oilers. They’re like a horrible cover crop of the late 1980s Oilers. You know, that lot with guys like Gretzky, Messier, Kuri, Coffey, et al. Somehow, I don’t think Cogliano, Gagner, Hemsky, and Horcoff has the same ring. The other thing that’s gone horribly wrong for the Oilers is that Mike Comrie isn’t with the team. That’s not noteworthy in the slightest except with him gone, so is the rare highlight of games at the Rexall Centre. No Comrie means no Hilary Duff and no reason to care about the Oilers.

Florida Panthers
Song: Sheryl Crow – Soak Up The Sun
Two Sheryl Crow songs in the same hockey preview? Ridiculous, I know. But this one still makes sense. Why does everyone go to Florida? For some fun in the sun. Florida is sometime’s called heaven’s waiting room and it also doubles as a good place to play out the string before life after hockey. And if ever there was a Commie job that didn’t pay near enough, it’s got to be Florida. Their highest players are Brian McCabe who came via a Leafs salary dump and Tomas Vokoun who is there to keep Florida above the cap floor. They’re about $10 million below the cap and weren’t spending this off-season. With all due respect to Pete DeBoer and Dale Tallon, the deck is stacked against them and they’re in a no-win scenario as long as their in Florida. The Panthers sure seem like a franchise more concerned about working on their tans than winning a Stanley Cup.

Los Angeles Kings
Song: Alice Cooper – School’s Out For Summer
Summer never really ends in Los Angeles so this song is at least appropriate for the weather. However, the Kings are poised to make a run this season. They have a solid group of young players that are continuously maturing and improving their play. At this point, it’s a matter not if but when they make a run for glory. They aren’t exactly in a powerhouse division and it looks like the Sharks are spinning their wheels after another poor playoff run. The Kings have to take off the training wheels and go for it this season.

Minnesota Wild
Song: Infant Sorrow – We Got To Do Something
I like Minnesota as a hockey market. Hell, Disney liked it so much that they set their best hockey movie (The Mighty Ducks) in the Twin Cities. I always thought they got a raw deal when the North Stars moved to Dallas. Since the NHL’s return to Minnesota in the guise of the Wild, there hasn’t been much to celebrate. The Wild have won only one division title since their debut in 2000. Since the loss of Marian Gaborik to free agency before last season, the Wild have been in a holding pattern. In Nick Backstrom, they have one of the league’s best goaltenders… And that’s about all you can say about the Wild. If they’d put some money in some offence and defence, they might have a chance to make a run in the playoffs. As it stands, they don’t have a hope.

Montreal Canadiens
Song: Jewel – Standing Still
So, the Habs’ big free agent signing was Alex Auld. That’s a sign of a team that seems fairly confident in what they had at the end of last year… Or a team so busy debating whether to sign Jaro or Carey that they forgot there was a whole host of free agents to choose from. And they couldn’t even do the whole goalie thing right because they let Halak go and didn’t sign Price until September. If there was a song about sitting on your hands and doing nothing, I would have picked it for the Habs. Instead, I went with Jewel because the whole of the league just passed them by because Halak didn’t need the Habs like they needed him.

Nashville Predators
Song: Kasabian – Underdog
Is there a team that is as perpetually underrated as the Preds? Part of this may come from the fact that Tennessee is more about football and stock car racing than hockey. But did you know that the Preds have made the Stanley Cup Playoffs in five of the last six seasons? I would have guessed that percentage would have been closer to 50%. That just goes to show the perception of Barry Trotz’s squad. After all, it’s a team whose top scorer, Patrick Hornqvist, is someone that all but fantasy hockey players in cap leagues have heard of. And despite being an unassuming team that no one cares about, they’re still good money to make the playoffs thanks to being underestimated.

New Jersey Devils
Song: AC/DC – Moneytalks
Fifteen years. $100 million. That’s the magic number for the New Jersey Devils and the NHL. I’m amazed that it took this long for the league to reject a contract but they finally did. It didn’t stop Ilya Kovalchuk’s deal from eventually going through, though. The Devils now have a $6.66 million cap hit on their books for the length of the contract but I’d put money on it being closer to 12 years. So the NJD have a good short-term plan to keep the playoffs’ invisible man under the cap but in 10 years, when he’s being paid less than half his cap hit and well past his prime, is it such a good idea? Well, we know that Ilya’s only in it for the money. Otherwise, he’d have made the smart move and gone to LA.

New York Islanders
Song: Sum 41 – Walking Disaster
Sadly, nobody has made a song from the sound of two pennies being rubbed together. Charles Wang has done one thing well with the Isles and that’s pinch pennies. Sure, there was that ridiculous Yashin contract and the slightly less ridiculous DiPietro contract but when your highest paid forward is on an entry-level contract, you’re a cheap bastard. At least he said he’s willing to play out the lease on Long Island before bailing to Kansas City or where ever else is willing to give him a cushy deal. Just as an aside, no team has moved or folded after winning a Stanley Cup in the post-Original Six era. Just thought I’d drop that tidbit.

New York Rangers
Song: Hoobastank – So Close, So Far
The Rangers were just one point from a playoff spot last year. It was a shootout loss in game #82 that allowed Philly to sneak in a charge to within two games of winning the Cup. And New York made it exciting last year. They got 16 of a maximum 20 points over their last ten games (going 7-1-2) but came up just a hair shy of the post-season. Of course, as close as the Rangers were last season, it would be easy to forget that they had to go on a ridiculous late season run to nearly make the playoffs. This season, the team comes back roughly the same as last season. The biggest change was the loss of Olli Jokinen and the addition of Derek Boogaard. Seriously, Glen Sather had all that money and cap space to spend and he pissed it away. The Rangers could have been a contender. Now they’re even farther away from going back to the show.

Ottawa Senators
Song: Crash Test Dummies – Overachievers
Without Dany Heatley playing alongside Alfredsson and Spezza, I don’t think anyone gave the Sens a chance. If what Ottawa did last season wasn’t overachieving, I don’t know what is. Ottawa had a good 1-3 punch in goal with Brian Elliott and Mike Brodeur that was better than most people would have expected from the should-have-been starter Pascal Leclaire. They also had an odd assortment of players step up last year including Mike Fisher, Nick Foligno, Jarkko Ruutu and Peter Regin who all had career years. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would have said that any of that lot would have upped their game last year (except for maybe Fisher). I don’t expect them to raise their game further, especially Fisher. Something tells me married life will have an effect on his game and not in a good way… Unless it involves a move to Nashville which will come sooner or later.

Philadelphia Flyers
Song: Pantera – Walk
The Flyers are one of the best teams in the league. They have some great players on the attack in Briere, Richards and Carter. Not to mention that Richards and Carter are two of the best defensive forwards in the league. Leadership on this team in steller with Richards and Pronger guiding the team. And if all that doesn’t work for you, they’ll beat the shit out of you. If you don’t respect the Flyers, guys like Carcillo, Pronger, Hartnell, and Laperriere will demand it from you. The only problem Philly is that they don’t have any goaltending. Michael Leighton and Brian Boucher got the Flyers to the Stanley Cup Finals but I wouldn’t say they set the world on fire. They’re competant goalies but the Flyers still lack that bonafide starter that will win them Lord Stanley’s chalice.

Phoenix Coyotes
Song: Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
They survived last year in Glendale. Why can’t they make it another year? I don’t know if they’ll be a Top 4 team in the Western Conference again but why can’t their roughly 10,000 fans dream. All the controversy surrounding the Balsillie bid and NHL bailout didn’t help attendance figures much but people started showing up when they realized that the Coyotes were playing winning hockey. For that, we can blame Ilya Bryzgalov. He couldn’t stop the Wings in game seven but he stonewalled everyone in every other game. So Phoenix/Glendale gets another year of hockey, if the team finally gets a permanent owner, maybe they can make hockey work in the desert… Yeah, I don’t think so either.

Pittsburgh Penguins
Song: Elton John – I’m Still Standing
It was Washington and Ovechkin that had all the hype surrounding them after their President’s Trophy win but it the Crosby kids that went farther in the post-season. Just goes to show that you can’t keep a good team down. Now, I don’t like the Pens or Crosby (being a Red Wings fan will do that) but I do respect the bastards. And despite losing Sergei Gonchar in free agency (and the rights to Dan Hamhuis which they had for less than a week), I think they’ll be okay. Paul Martin is no Gonchar but the Pens have a deep enough farm system that they won’t be too adversely affected by losing their power play quarterback. And I’m sure Crosby fans will like that I compared his team to an Elton John song.

San Jose Sharks
Song: Metallica – Unforgiven
Regular season success is the norm for the Sharks. Post-season success is virtually non-existent. I don’t think two conference finals appearances in the last six seasons doesn’t count as playoff success. When they can actually win the Clarence Campbell Bowl, then we can consider them as having playoff success. We know that they are actually a decent team. You don’t win three straight division titles by being a bunch of schmucks (unless it’s the Southeast Division, even the Leafs are contender there). If the Sharks ever want to be taken seriously, their skill has to shine through in the playoffs instead of just the regular season.

St. Louis Blues
Song: Sam Roberts – Them Kids
The St. Louis Blues remind me a bit of the Los Angeles Kings. They’ve got all this young talent on the roster but are lacking the experience that the Kings young guns have this year. Of course, having phenom Jaro Halak between the pipes could accelerate the growth of this squad. With a few more years of seasoning, the Blues could find themselves in the top half of the conference. Right now, I’m just not buying what they’re selling. That’s the sort of thing that will happen when Eric Brewer is your captain.

Tampa Bay Lightning
Song: Airbourne – Bottom of the Well
Unlike most of the songs in this preview, this song’s title isn’t as self-explanatory as you’d think. It’s about trying to get out of the bottom of the well. And that’s exactly what Tampa is poised to do now that Len Barrie and Oren Koules sold the team to Jeff Vinik. The new boss turfed GM Brian Lawton and brought in Steve Yzerman who is completely overhauling the team. The biggest problem with fixing the team will be trying to repair the locker room. Constant trade rumours where damn well near anyone could have been traded at any moment over the last three seasons and constant ownership fights hurt the on-ice product. Vinik and Yzerman will bring some stability to a team that has the talent to make the post-season. We just have to see if they can’t underachieve yet again.

Toronto Maple Leafs
Song: The Beatles – Getting Better
I know I used this song for the Leafs last year but I don’t think it could get any worse for them this season. After, a whole season without Vesa Toskala is a vast improvement over only half a season without him. The goaltending tandem of Gustavsson and Giguere is a decent one-two punch that will give the Swede some much-needed development time without the weight of the franchise on his shoulders. The additions of Kris Versteeg and Nazem Kadri will also shore up a slightly anaemic offense. I think you have to say things are getting better for the Leafs… Except for not having a first round draft pick.

Vancouver Canucks
Song: Keane – Try Again
For the second year in a row, the Canuckleheads lost to the Blackhawks in the playoffs. They shouldn’t have that issue this season because the Hawks have pretty much salary capped themselves out of the playoffs. But for all I know, Chicago will meet Van-City in the first round and dump them before getting swept in round two. The Canucks have shored up their blueline which was their biggest malady last season. They also have to do something about not having any scoring besides the Sedin line but no one seems to be paying much attention to that. Still, by being one of the teams least hurt by their cap situation after last season, they’re poised to jump to the top of the Western Conference.

Washington Capitals
Song: Bon Jovi – Living On A Prayer
The regular season is really only halfway to the Stanley Cup. Winning the President’s Trophy as the top team in the regular season makes for a nice banner raising at the start of the next season but it means you didn’t get the job done. When your goaltending is hot and cold like it was with Semyon Varlamov and Jose Theodore, your best strategy is prayer. I’m a Varlamov fan but every time I think he’s going to prove himself as a legitimate starter, he disappoints. The Caps need something more in goal because all they’ve got otherwise is an obscenely high-powered offense which seems to not be much good in the post-season.