Sorry for the misleading title. This post is not about the old videocassette format known as Beta-Max. I realize that a post about the history of Beta would be infinitely fascinating but today’s post is about the technology sort of beta. Beta, near as I can piece together, is the stage of production where something is mostly but not completely done. For example, the new Internet Explorer (though I think it’s more Alpha [early build] than Beta). So today’s targets are all things that aren’t done yet but are getting there.

Internet Explorer 9
So I decided to upgrade my IE8 to IE9 last weekend. I jumped on IE7 and IE8 when they first came out in beta and loved both of them more than IE6 (not that it would have been a challenge to make a better browser) so I figured that I would love this one too. Turns out that all the hype about HTML and how it acts like an “app” left out some of the important details. For example, it takes longer to open a browser window or tab than it did in IE8. Loading a page doesn’t take noticeably less time. And, the kicker for me, it doesn’t work with WordPress. WP put out a post about how cool WP and IE9’s functionality would be together. The problem was that I can no longer insert links or symbols, spell check or use any of the other stuff I put in my posts. Oh, and I can’t save my posts either but that’s really not at all a big problem. I’ve been holding onto IE for a long time. Who knew it would take the “best” version of IE to make me switch to Google Chrome.

Facebook
Speaking of tech things, the Facebook movie is coming out in a week’s time… And onto things that actually matter, Facebook is rumoured to be developing a phone. Of course, Facebook is denying this but where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Phone might be a bit of a misnomer. It sounds more like a mobile OS rather than a phone (sort of what Google and Microsoft are doing). The rumoured plan is to integrate your Facebook contacts and phone contacts which can only really be accomplished if Facebook was able to develop software to connect your Facebook account to your phone and its contact list. At first glance, it seems like a simple app but given how Facebook has recently been borrowing/stealing concepts from other websites, you have to think that this is more than just a simple app. It has to be the start of a Facebook takeover of all aspects of our lives. Now given how much dramatic license was said to have been taken with the Facebook movie, which do you think is more fictional: Facebook the movie or Facebook the phone? I’ll take movie.

BlackPad
It’s not quite official yet but Jim Balsillie’s latest effort to raise money to buy an NHL franchise appears to be another shot across the bow of Apple. First, there was the touch-screen BlackBerry that was a blatant shot at the iPhone, though, according to an acquaintance at RIM, largely a mistake. The latest reaction shot by RIM is set to be fired next week. They’re going to launch a new tablet device similar to the iPad called the BlackPad. There are so many problems with this “copy Apple” strategy that the boys at RIM are using. First, BlackPad is an awful name. Actually, anything with “Pad” in it is an awful name. They should have hired an external marketing team to help them. Hell, even something lame like the “GoBerry” would be better than “BlackPad.” Second, Apple’s iPad is popular because it’s so fucking hipster. The iPad is for people who put appearances above functionality. I’d rather have an HP tablet PC than an Apple hipPad. Third, the iPad is really just a jumbo-sized iPhone. If RIM really wants to make a mark with their CrackPad, they have to make it as functional as a standard BlackBerry. Maybe a giant slide-out keyboard? However they do it, selling their new wares without an available cell connection is just a recipe for disaster. That’s right, the rumour is that the CrackPad is being sold without 3G connectivity. Scratch everything I said about the possibility of improving the damn thing. RIM’s fucked six ways from Sunday.

The Event
I haven’t actually watched the show because I watched Lone Star instead. Of course, a lack of first-hand research has never stopped me from being opinionated before. Near as I have been able to piece together, the show makes absolutely no sense (like Lost), has a lot of confusing flashbacks (like Lost) and had a great ending that will make people keep coming back (like 24). In other words, the show sucks for the first 58 minutes but is good enough to salvage something from the last two. The general consensus from the internet denizens and TV critics is that it’s an expensive knock-off of Lost and 24 and is generally horrible. If I knew writing TV was this easy, I would have gone into that instead of getting a real day job. I could stretch Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham across 57 minutes but as long as I wrap up with a cliffhanger, people will like it. That being said, I’m about to spoil the whole show for you. If it’s so much like Lost and 24, then the plane exploded because of a massive nuclear device and everyone is stuck in purgatory but hasn’t figured it out yet.

House
I said on the BlogCast that I was worried about how the whole “Huddy” thing would affect the show. Turns out that I had nothing to be worried about. I knew it was going to be bad but I didn’t realize that I’d stop paying attention to the show less than three minutes in. Actually, I’m surprised that I made it that long. When the best part of the show is the B-story with the sick/drugged up neurosurgeon, you know that a show is in trouble. (It’s still better than Glee where the C- [the Jane Lynch storyline] and D-stories [Asian romance] were the best parts of the show.) And to think that I was worried that I had two shows on at the same time on Monday nights. Looks like the good folks at Bad Hat Harry Productions (and whoever else produces House) has solved my dilemma in three minutes. Not even Domino’s can deliver that fast.

Celebrity Drug Habits
It seems almost fitting that both Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were in the news this week because of their drug habits. If memory serves, weren’t they buddies for a short while? Lindsay was said to have failed a pair of court-ordered drug tests. For all the crying she did over getting jail time and then the pair of early releases (from prison and rehab), can she expect anymore sympathy? The preferential treatment she has received makes a mockery out of the legal system. She’s a repeat drugs offender and should be treated as such. If any other repeat offender violated terms of a sentence, they would spend a hell of a lot longer than 30 and 30 in prison and rehab. Of course, celebrity justice is all about the double standard. That brings me to Paris Hilton’s guilty plea over cocaine possession. Finally a celebrity that is willing to work within the confines of the system. Plea bargains happen all the time. It’s not like she’s getting preferential treatment in getting a plea deal in what is an open and shut case. Lindsay tried to work the system to her benefit. Paris is working within the system to her benefit.

Ines Sainz
I figured that this would all blow over quickly enough and I wouldn’t feel obligated to comment on it. Then she wrote a newspaper column that blamed the US media and the Association for Women in Sports Media for the scandal and said it set the women’s rights movements back 50 years. Somehow, I don’t think that the AWSM and the rest of the media set women’s rights back 50 years. They were actually trying to advance it by saying that professional women in media are still subject to being objectified to those they are charged to cover. No, the one setting the women’s rights movement back is Miss Sainz herself. She shows up to every Super Bowl media day with some gimmick that gets chuckles out of players and rolled eyes out of the assembled media. She shows up as comic relief instead of a reporter gathering quotes and footage like the rest of the assembled media. While she shouldn’t be harassed by the players and coaches of the New York Jets, the fact that she was dressed for clubbing rather than interviewing an NFL starting quarterback was part of the problem. The way she claims to have been dressed on the sidelines and in the locker room would have drawn stares and an endless parade of douche juices at any New York bar or club. Sainz may have been wronged but she should look hard into the mirror before placing the blame on everyone else.