If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be time for the Not News of the Week.

The state of California is so broke (How broke is it?) that they’re planning on switching from the traditional metal plates to electronic plates. The idea isn’t to have longer lasting, rust proof plates. The idea would be to sell advertising on the new license plates. The proposal says that the plates would display the plate number while the car is in motion. When the car is stopped for more than four seconds, an ad would scroll across the plate until the car gets back in motion. The state of California is currently battling a budget deficit of $19 million. We know Hollywood will do anything for a buck but I guess that counts for the whole state.

Every now and then, we mention that story from Britain about the woman who was arrested for having loud sex. In America, they take the law into their own hands. In Myrtle Beach, a man stabbed his roommate for having loud sex with a homeless woman in their apartment. And, yes, the roommate was a man. It’s the same but completely different from the British story. So either the homeless woman is really good or this guy is pathetic.

A man in New Zealand knows exactly what to do if you roll your car while drunk and get trapped. Have another beer while you wait for help to arrive. A man driving in Palmerston North on the North Island of New Zealand missed the corner, crashed through the barrier, and rolled the car onto its roof. Since the man couldn’t open his doors, he had another beer to pass the time. It definitely wasn’t the only drink he had that day. When police finally got to him, he blew nearly three times the legal limit (1,191 micrograms with a 400 microgram limit). The man had his license suspended for 10 months for his trouble. From the sounds of it, it was worth it.

If you thought that being three times over the legal limit was good, a Florida woman tops that. She was pulled over by police for erratic driving in the middle of the afternoon. She blew 0.311 on her breath test which is nearly four times the Florida legal limit of 0.08. Though police wouldn’t have needed the test to tell them she was drunk. She was wearing a bikini and flip-flops while driving and couldn’t tell police where she was coming from or going to. She wasn’t without sympathy for the police. While she was being loaded into the police cruiser, she told police, “I’m sorry. I really needed this, though.”

An art-action painter in Russia has decided that, for whatever reason, he needed to paint a giant penis on a bridge. But not on the side of the bridge. He painted the giant penis on the road of the bridge. So when the bridge goes up, so does the penis. I think the jokes there are pretty obvious. So in Soviet Russia, penises paint you… No, wait…