She may have been slimed during the Kids’ Choice Awards but that’s was the only thing they could do to Katy Perry to keep the censors happy.

Hedo Turkoglu isn’t exactly earning his contract in Toronto. Not that it’s news for Toronto athletes to mail it in. He’s been mailing it in since “Ball.” (Ball Don’t Lie)

Shane O’Brien was given a week’s vacation by the Canucks for missing practice. I wonder what he could have been up to that made him late… (Deadspin)

The team that inspired the Charleston Chiefs is no more. The Johnston Chiefs are on their way to South Carolina. (Post-Gazette)

After the jump, a look at TV, some crazy cars/stories, and the greatest school play ever.

Speaking of Slap Shot, a pair of teams in the Southern Professional Hockey League decided to reenact a scene. Too bad the refs didn’t get the memo. (Puck Daddy)

Ferris Bueller’s Ferrari is up for auction. Well, it wasn’t his Ferrari. It was Cameron’s dad’s Ferrari but it’s still up for auction. (CBC)

Craig Ferguson would like you know that he doesn’t care about hosting a late-night TV host. He would also like you to know that his language is quite tame for a Scotsman. (The Wrap)

A while back, I ran an article which examined Glenn Beck’s sponsors bailing on him. Turns out that the campaign was spearheaded by one man and his Twitter account. Glenn would hyperventilate and cry and do the rest of his shtick about it but I’m not sure he knows what Twitter is. (Bloggasm) A powerful Twitter account? Why on earth would someone want that?

And remember folks, while Beck is suffering for sponsors, he ain’t hurting for viewers. CNN, on the other hand… (New York Times)

Cadillac is releasing a station wagon version of the CTS-V. Though, the noteworthy thing is that this article includes the line “Yee and, indeed, ha.” Awesome! (Top Gear)

How do you go from cooking being impossible to cars not matching their intended purpose? Well, you call in the unquestioned master of motoring journalism, Jeremy Clarkson. He isn’t particularly fond of the new eco-friendly Merc S-Class which is a lesson in contradiction in automotive design. (Times Online)

They got the Large Hadron Collider working again. When’s the end of the world again? (Daily Telegraph)

And in other sciency/video gamey news, a thermal image of one of Saturn’s moons looks like Pac-Man. Finally, science comes through for us. I’d rather more of this than apocalyptic atom-smashers. (BBC)

In yesterday’s Lowdown #50, we examined what politics could be like if politicians were interesting. Well, the US Presidents of yesteryear actually were pretty fun folks. (Guyism)

Speaking of which, click here to find the real cuts of last night’s Lowdown #50. We really did make the censors nervous last night.

Greatest! 4th grade play! Ever!

Worst. Shootout attempt by a Detroit player. Ever.