If it’s not worth talking about, then it must be time again for the Not News of the Week.

Rage Against The Machine took home its second major honour in as many weeks last week. After taking the Christmas Number One single in Britain, lead singer Zach de la Rocha took home an award for the 2009 Beard of the Year. Britain’s Beard Liberation Front hands out the award annual for the best beard on a well-known person across the globe. Previous honourees include Tom Jones and Robert Plant. They also handed out the award for beard of the decade which went to Glastonbury music festival founder Michael Eavis (narrowly beating Fidel Castro).

You don’t mess with a man and his dream home. A British man had been saving up to buy and renovate his dream home in Cardiff for ten years. He left his home for a weekend and got a call from the contractor doing the renovations that his home had been burgled. Police were called in but couldn’t find any leads. The man decided to do some amateur sleuthing of his own and ended up finding his former fridge on eBay. He posed as a buyer, got some more information on the seller and clued in police. The rozzers were able to arrest the thief and recover the stolen property. British tax dollars hard at work.

Domino’s Pizza is in the midst of trying to reinvigorate the franchise by changing just about everything including their sauce recipe. Well, one man in Farnborough, England, decided he would give some advice for the new recipe. He showed up at closing of the local shop and threw curry powder in the faces of staff members. Apparently, the man was planning on robbing the store but the workers were able to fight him off despite minor facial injuries. Throwing a foreign substance in someone’s eyes… Sounds like an old-time wrestling more.

If you felt like shit last week, you weren’t alone. A recent study shows that people feel the worst about themselves over the year on December 29th. Generally, these feelings are guilt over indulging oneself during the Christmas season. I guess it’s convenient that people make their New Year’s resolutions (which are pointless) only days later. Now that I mention it, I did feel pretty shit on the 29th. Maybe there’s something to the hocus pocus in this study.

Eat your heart out, David Blaine. An Israeli magician showed that anything Blaine could do, he could do better by breaking the American illusionist’s record for staying trapped in a block of ice. Blaine spent 63 hours in ice in 2000. Hezi Dayan spent the 66 hours before the stroke of the New Year trapped in an eight-tonne block of ice. Dayan’s feat wasn’t the same spectacle that Blaine made of his. Only 200 people watched the end of the record attempt in person. However, most were carrying signs supporting Dayan with messages ranging from “Hezi the Great” to the more practical “Don’t die Hezi Dayan.”