It’s that time of the week again. It’s all the weird, wacky, and wonderful stories that make up our Not News of the Week.

The economic recession that has swept the globe has put a bit of a financial crunch on everyone. It turns out that the effects were far more widespread than we first imagined. Santa Claus walked into Nashville bank and was carrying more than presents. Santa had a gun which he used to fill his bag full of presents (cash) for himself. The FBI has asked for help in tracking down the suspect who they describe as six-feet tall with white hair and beard and wearing a red “Santa suit.” If I were them, I’d start in the North Pole and work my way south.

Thievery isn’t the exclusive domain of jolly old men. A six-year-old girl in Ohio stole a $3 pack of temporary tattoos from a store while out with her mother. The girl’s older sister turned her over to her mother. The mother then took her daughter to the police station and turned her in. The woman says that she turned in her daughter so she and the police could teach her a lesson. Naturally, that’s why the woman asked the police if she could claim a $30 reward for turning in a shoplifter. Some people have no shame.

A video on YouTube has illustrated the fact that racism runs rampant through Silicon Valley. A white woman and a black man star in a video called “HP Computers are Racist.” The woman’s face is tracked by the computer’s camera but when the man replaces her in frame, the camera doesn’t respond. HP has responded to this video by saying that they were informed of issues with the facial-tracking software when there is “insufficient foreground lighting.” Actually, the software is fine but someone in management or programming clearly isn’t.

A golf course owner has pleaded guilty to stealing from the City of Kansas City. What exactly did he steal? Only more than one million gallons of water. For over five years, golf course employees filled an irrigation pond with water tapped from an illegally installed valve near the golf course. It wasn’t until 2008 that the Kansas City Water Services Department was able to figure out that somebody was routinely stealing massive amounts of water. By the time someone started doing their job, the golf course was on the hook for an estimated bill of $1.6 million. A settlement between the golf course and the city will net Kansas City about $250,000 or less than one-sixth of the original bill. Kansas City tax dollars at work, then.

A dog in Arizona is about to become a world record holder. At 42.625 inches from paw to shoulder, George the Great Dane is set to enter the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s tallest dog. George is so big that his owners feed him over 100 pounds of food a month and have him sleep in his own queen-size bed. He used to sleep with his owners but at about 87 from nose to tail, he crowded them out of their own bed. George’s campaign to set a world record even has a Web 2.0 component to it. He’s got a Twitter account and a Facebook fan page. Wait, this dog has a Facebook page and we don’t? Anyone else think there’s something wrong there?