Not News of the Week

Another week, another dose of all the news that’s not fit for print. It’s time for the Not News of the Week.

Downtown Toronto had an unexpected visitor last week. A female deer was found lounging in some shrubs around University and Dundas in the heart of the downtown of Canada’s most populous city. The deer wasn’t too keen on leaving her adopted home near City Hall and had to be both tranquilized and tazed to be captured and removed by animal control. No one is really sure how the deer got to downtown but it had been spotted before it was captured at Union Station which is about 1.5 km south of University and Dundas. However, I am pretty sure that the deer is at least as smart as the average denizen of Toronto.

If you’re a political commentator and planning on speaking in Canada, it’s probably a good idea to wait until after the Olympics. The host of liberal-leaning radio talk show called Democracy Now was trying to get into Canada for a speaking engagement. When she tried to cross the Washington-BC border, she and her two producers were detained and asked repeatedly if she was planning on speaking about the Olympics. With anti-Olympic sentiment growing in recent months, it looks like Canadian officials are getting a little sensitive about criticism. I think it will be worse for athletes coming in will find it worse. Good luck getting through customs if you’re a hockey player going to the Olympics.

The sociology department at Leeds University is looking for help for a unique new research project. They’re trying to hire a researcher to document “the rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy.” In other words, they’re looking for someone to do research strip clubs. The researcher will have the arduous task of interviewing over 300 dancers (as well as managers and regulators). I can’t imagine any work that would be harder than going to strip clubs every day of the week…

In the Old Testament, the plague of locusts hit Egypt. These days, the Aussies have their own spin on that. A plague of camels has hit a small village of 350 people in the Northern Territory. About 6,000 camels have stormed into Docker River from the Outback in search of water. The vast Australian Outback has been plagued with a near unprecedented drought which has caused the camels to storm into people’s homes for water. The Australian government is bringing in helicopters to herd and shoot the camels. Interestingly, camels aren’t native to Australia and were brought over in the 1890s to help explore the Outback. If only they had The Simpsons in the 1890s. There was an episode where Australia was overrun by frogs. How right they were…

Religions talk about trying to help all of mankind but sometimes a man has to help himself. A man broke into the Berean Baptist Church in Ellenwood, Georgia and took some electronic equipment including microphones and a laptop. However, the thief wasn’t completely unsympathetic to the church. He left a note that said “Sorry but I’m poor. Forgive me Lord.” The church pastor did find some humour in the note. He said that he’s thinking of putting up a note asking would-be thieves to call him and the church will take up a collection for them.

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