It’s the first week of the U.S. Open so here’s Ana Ivanovic.

College football is kicking off on both sides of the border. The rules might be different on either side of the border but the fans are all the same. (National Lampoon)

Keeping with football, guess which ex-NFL star has decided to restart his career north of the border. Can you actually make it rain in Manitoba? (Sports Illustrated)

Guitar Hero 5 came out yesterday. They still haven’t answered our request for a copy of the game to review so I don’t want to give them too much free publicity. IGN is doing a good enough job of that. You can’t find a word about The Beatles: Rock Band anywhere on their site. Anyway, here’s the Top 25 must-play Guitar Hero tracks. (IGN)

After the jump, some “Only in America” stories, lots more football stories, the best fictional mobsters, and Artie Lange.

Brett Favre will try to end your career but, goshdarnit, he’ll have fun doing it. (Deadspin)

Somebody actually went through and rated how good looking each starting quarterback is. Apparently good looks are more important than solid skills to lead an NFL offense. (Wall Street Journal)

One more football story. The NFL has laid down formal rules for Twitter use. As with any other NFL rule instituted under the reign of Roger Goodell, the description could easily be “draconian.” (ESPN)

And a quasi-football story: Erin Andrews is going to appear on Oprah next week. I thought the story had faded into the sunset. Not quite. (The Big Lead)

If you’ve become disenchanted with the latest offerings of Entourage, then I have news for you. A former Playboy playmate was fired from the show because she turned down the actors. Now you can hate the show for whatever reason you hate it and because all the actors are pricks. (FOX News)

I would say America is a land of hypocrites but I’d get shot. The majority of the population is overweight but they still hate obese people. (Newsweek)

Speaking of America, don’t even think about sitting during the Pledge of Allegiance. It might be the revenge of the Heathers… if one of them wanted to join the army. (St. Pete Times)

The CBC has decided that it needs to cut costs and viewers. They’ve extended their local newscasts from 30 to 90 minutes and cancelled The Simpsons and Wheel of Fortune to do so. But they put a happier spin on it. (CBC)

Today’s photo gallery brings us the list of the Top 20 fictional mobsters ever. And the list just happens to have the best choice of #1 ever in the history of internet top tens. (Gunaxin)

We couldn’t bring you the infamous Artie Lange interview on Joe Buck Live. However, we don’t have any trouble bringing you Lange on Letterman. And he does talk about his interview with Joe Buck.