Following the footsteps of fellow Hasbro toyline Transformers, the war toy turned cartoon turned cartoony motion picture has finally hit the big screens. Is it worth forking out ten bucks to see this at the theatres? Find out after the jump.

The film follows ‘The Joes’, as they are called, which is a multinational team that is out there to protect our world from mass destruction (also known as ‘the good guys’). With a secret base that is hidden miles in the desert that houses a fleet of subs, helicopters and other machinery, they are able to go out there to stop terror attacks one explosion at a time. The team is called in to counter the evil McCullen (Christopher Eccleston) and his minions. McCullen plans to use his invention called “nanomites” to destroy and take over the world. Why does he want to do that? Apparently his Scottish clan was insulted centuries ago and he wants revenge. You got to love a villain that can hold a grudge.

It’s a fairly simple story about good versus evil. There’s nothing in between. Sommers and his screenwriters decided to skip the detailed backstories and jump right into the action. There is little room to develop the characters; hence there is little opportunity to even get attached to this film. The plot details are not developed at great depth, because the movie is preoccupied with providing endless wall-to-wall computer-generated special effects. If the movie was meant as a simple thrill ride, then it served its purpose. We all just go in and leave our brains out the door. Too bad we keep it all intact and watch our IQs drop minute by minute.

With a budget of $175 million, it was fairly disappointing to see how cartoony the CGI action sequences were. I understand that a film like G.I. Joe isn’t meant to be taken seriously, but many of the special effects seemed like it was unfinished. However, it’s not all bad. There were some well-orchestrated martial arts sequences featuring Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee). Also how can anyone not like the savoury girlfight between Baroness (Sienna Miller) and Scarlett (Rachel Nichols)?

There wasn’t much in the acting department since all the focus were on action, action and more action. It seemed as though all the actors were just there to have a good time and collect a paycheque. I must say they did do a good job casting as there were many familiar faces including Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans, which is good for drawing a crowd. It’s too bad that all the focus was on the eye popping explosions because fine actors like Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who was brilliant in 500 Days of Summer) were underused. At least the film does have a nice set up for him to have a meatier role in the sequel.

With the drama, or lack thereof, out of the way, the film just simply features plenty of sequences showing buildings and objects get pummeled to the ground. In fact it seemed as though several scenes of mass destruction was thrown in there for little purpose. Even the G.I. Joes themselves show disregard to human life as they destroy everything in sight just to stop the bad guys. Sommers has yet to perfect the art of throwing in ridiculous clips of mass destruction like Roland Emmerich, but it was a valiant effort.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra manages to almost replicate the experience you had as a little kid playing with your action figures in the bedroom. It’s fun bashing the toys together and throwing them around, but after 30 minutes, you get bored of it. Like the playtime experience, this film is largely forgettable. Sommers has made a movie that’s just a series of action sequences with a few slow moments in between to help us catch our breaths. It may have been an entertaining film, but it felt emptier than Transformers. If I was 10 years old, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra would have been one of the best movies I had ever seen. Too bad the movie came out ten years too late.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ + 1/2