Worst of Music: Avril Lavigne – Hello Kitty

Sometimes, a musical atrocity so heinous occurs that we are forced to act. When we are called to action, that means bringing back an old classic on The Lowdown Blog. I have been forced to revive The Worst of Music.

This week’s entry into the Worst of Music record books is actually from a duo that was one of our more recent WoM winners. When I last did these posts regularly, my third-to-last winner of a Worst of Music award went to Avril Lavigne for her cover of Nickelback’s How You Remind Me. Here we are 16 months later and Avril and husband Chad Kroeger collaborate to pick up another Worst of Music win. A strike rate of two wins from the last four WoM isn’t really surprising after you hear their latest, Hello Kitty.

I listened to this song twice to get the write-up right and I never want to listen to music again. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration. I just which I was deaf so I never have to hear this or anything like it again.

I’m not really sure what the hell the song is supposed to be about. I know that it’s called Hello Kitty but I don’t really see how that song and that cat have anything to do with each other. I hope nobody who owns the Hello Kitty IP signed off on it and subsequently sues for the damage this song did to the Hello Kitty brand just based on its mere existence.

Anyway, it’s a very odd song, even by Avril and Chad standards. Avril’s sort of singing slash rapping thing she’s doing reminds me of something I would from Gwen Stefani not Avril Lavigne. I don’t understand the breaking into Japanese at times unless they saw how much success Psy was having with the mix of Korean and English in Gangnam Style and Gentleman. However, the only place that works properly is in Korea. It would have actually been smart if Avril and Chad realized no one outside of Japan would listen to this song so they geared it to the Japanese market.

And I have no idea why this song slips into quasi-dubstep at times. I’m guessing it’s a case of two Canadian rock stars trying to grasp onto some relevance by trying something currently popular and missing the mark entirely.

All this and I haven’t mentioned that people think the video might be racist because of all the Japanese stereotypes and expressionless backup dancers. With all the other crap in this song and video, I completely missed that and I don’t want to go back and watch it a third time to find out if they’re right. One viewing was enough. Two is painful. Three is a violation of the Geneva Convention.

So congrats, Avril and Chad. You’ve won the prestigious Worst of Music award for this week. I’m quite used to pissing people off with these posts but I doubt I will this time.

Have a WoM candidate for a future edition of the Worst of Music? Drop it in the comments.

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