It’s time for another part in our ongoing series in the best of the interweb that can help you through your day. (Well, the interweb that is outside of The Lowdown Blog.) Once again, I take us back for some more of the best stories of My Life is Average. I like this site because it’s a bit more relatable to everyone’s average lives and some of the stories on the website are the sort of thing that regularly happen to people. That doesn’t mean that these stories aren’t funny.
(All stories contained in this post should be considered sic’d.)
Today, I started randomly singing. Suddenly, this complete stranger joined in telling me that he was in love with that band. I was totally just making the song up. MLIA
Today, I was in the car and pulled up to a stop light. I looked over at the car next to me and it was a big, muscly, and scary looking man driving a large, black truck. His lips were moving but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. So, I rolled down the window only to find he was singing Call Me Maybe at the top of his lungs. When he drove off I looked at the back of his truck and saw he had an “I love my chihuahua” sticker on the back of his truck. MLIA
Today, I saw a pigeon poop on another pigeon, in mid-air. Justice. MLIA
Today I saw a fence with graffiti that said “Sorry about your fence.” At least they appologized for doing it… MLIA
I’m 6’3″ and pretty big in stature. Anyway, I was at the dentist office waiting room, and I noticed that there was a kid that was obviously afraid of me. I decided to be nice and give him a high-five. So I got up, and said, “Give me five, kid!”. He threw five dollars out of his pocket and ran out (with his mother following).
Today, I did my Sociology project. It involved breaking a custom. So my friend and I had a picnic on the floor of Mcdonalds and had to record reactions. The manager walked up to us halfway through our meal and with her own McDouble in hand, she asked to join us. MLIA.
Today when I was doing my homework I went to look for a pen. I don’t know why i looked in the fridge first.. MLIA
No matter who we are, EVERYONE feels amazing when the flip to the exact page in a textbook. MLIA.
Today I noticed that I always go down the stairs starting with my right foot. Curious, I decided to try my left. I ended up falling and breaking my arm. MLIA
Today in the shower I tried to do a sexy hair flip like they do in the movies.I did a faceplant into the shower door and got a bloody nose. MLIA
Today I cut myself on a piece of bread. MLIA
A couple days ago I went to cafe rio with my friend. When we sat down, she asked me where her fork was. I looked over to see her fork in the lid of her drink instead of a straw. She didn’t notice until she took a sip. her life is average.
Today I went grocery shopping. I wanted to buy some Cinnamon Toast Crunch, because it was on sale. I saw that there was only one box left and put it in my cart. Right as I did that, someone else walked up to grab it. The lady was very dismayed that I took the last box, and asked me to hand it over or her kid would cry. I told her it was mine and went on my way. A few minutes later, I was at the deli counter and the lady walked up, took my box of cereal, and put it in her cart, then walked away. I couldn’t believe it… So I stalked her around the store, and finally, I ran by with my cart, riding on the back of it. I grabbed the box of cereal back out of her cart and rolled off towards the register, all the while loudly humming the Indiana Jones theme song. MLIA.
Today, when I was at the movies they were having technical difficulties & the movie wouldn’t start. The screen was black for about five minutes. During those five minutes the whole theater broke out into Jingle Bells. MLIA
Today, I was looking up dumb laws. Apparently it is illegal to push a living moose out of a moving airplane. Darn, there go my plans for next Wednesday. MLIA
Today my friend told me that one of my current very attractive guy friends had a huge crush on me in high school. I got really flattered and started picturing our lives together. I had just reached the decision that one of our dogs would be named Gizmo when I realized he couldn’t have liked me in high school. We didn’t meet until college. I continued planning our lives together anyway. MLIA
Today my boyfriend broke up with me so my cousin who is 6 asked me what was wrong and i told him ten minutes later he came back with ice cream and a baseball bat and asked me who he has to kill MLIA
Today my sister lost her fish. Seriously, it’s just gone. MLIA
Today, someone told me that it takes a lifetime to forget someone. My reply? “My dad once forgot me at the dance studio.” MLIA
The other day I was at my Great-Grandmothers nursing home for lunch. After lunch the nurse brought out a bowl of ice cream for my great grandmother and a couple of frozen skittles in ice cream for me. After proceeding to eat the skittles I noticed that the skittles were unusually hard, then proceeding to tell my Great-Grandmother that they were REALLY hard, she says out loud, “Thats what she said”. I am 15 and my Great-Grandmother is 100 years old. MLIA