Not News of the Week

It’s time for another edition of the weirdest and wackiest stories from around the world. It’s time for the not news of the week.

The most heinous of crimes was recently uncovered in Quebec. Thieves robbed a warehouse belonging to the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, making off with an estimated $30 million worth of maple syrup. The volume of maple syrup stolen hasn’t been released but the warehouse held 3.4 million litres of syrup which accounts for 10% of Quebec’s annual production volume and a quarter of the province’s maple syrup inventory. The province of Quebec is responsible for producing 75% of the world’s maple syrup meaning that 7.5% of this year’s total world production of maple syrup has gone missing. Time to start hoarding.

If you’re a college or university student in Windsor, Ontario, and need tuition money, the Leopard’s Lounge and Broil can help you. The infamous strip club is willing to provide you with up to $1,700 toward tuition in exchange for working as a dancer at their club. All the dancers taking up the offer have to do is maintain a B+ average. It’s a win-win for all involved, really. The women get some of their post-secondary education paid for when they may not have been otherwise able to pay for it and the club increases a dancer line-up which was decimated by the recent deportation of several foreign dancers.

Courtney Stodden, who is famous for marrying an actor at the age of 16, recently turned 18 and has been fielding multiple offers to appear in professionally produced porn movies. She took to Twitter to turn down all of those offers but did say she would appear in Playboy. The only problem is that not only does she not actually have an offer to appear from Playboy but they have no intention to have her in the magazine. TMZ’s sources at Playboy said that she didn’t meet the magazine’s standards and she looked too enhanced. The sources also suggested that nobody would actually want to see a Stodden Playboy shoot. I think that’s something we all agree with.

I don’t know if there’s an official world record for most number of arrests over a 26 hour period but a New Hampshire woman may have set it. She was arrested four times over a short 26-hour period. She was given a warning and arrested inside an hour for playing AC/DC too loudly for neighbours to handle. Five hours later, she was arrested again for blasting the AC/DC. Before dawn the next morning, it was another loud AC/DC related arrest. Finally, later that day, she was arrested for whacking her nephew with a frying pan after he tried to help clean out her house. She was eventually jailed. No word if they let her near the prison radio.

A Nigerian man’s apparent retirement plan didn’t go as hoped after being busted by police at the airport in Lagos. The man was returning to his native Nigeria from Brazil with almost six pounds of cocaine hidden in roasted chickens. The estimated street value of the cocaine is $150,000. No word on the estimated street value on the roasted chicken.

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